Excuse the Mess…

Femininity…

How do we define The Feminine? and how have we been deceived by societal structures as to what we believe when it comes to certain gender roles that have been placed upon us?

These are some questions that have been weighing heavily on me lately.

At the beginning of the year, I hosted my very first online course. It was a 28-Day Manifestation Challenge geared towards helping people start their year off on the path to successfully manifesting their 2021 desires.

One thing I have learned when it comes to working with the Law of Attraction, is that you always get what you ask for. It’s just a matter of whether or not you are paying attention.

So, when we arrived at the final week of the course, during our Full Moon call, we chatted about blockages and what is currently blocking you from aligning with what it is you are looking to manifest?

And then someone asked me..

“Jen, what do you think is blocking you?”

Now, I could come up with a list of potential blockages, but the one I spouted out that night was…

“I’m Messy.”

I’m not talking emotionally messy…

I’m talking, my apartment is actually quite literally a mess.

If you were to walk in to my apartment on any given day, you’d see scattered clothes, unfinished art projects, and a dining table with an accumulation of things I have been working on throughout the week that I honestly can’t be bothered to organize.

You see, growing up I had two very tidy parents, a Father who to this day loves to “mess-shame” me, and a mother who harped that my external is a direct reflection of my internal.

So, naturally, I too developed shame around my mess.

It’s my dirty little secret that manifested into me not allowing people (especially men) to come into my home, because god forbid I reveal this apparent flaw in my character.

The ones I did allow to come over, was only after hours of me cleaning and hiding my mess in cabinets in closets (because it never went away, I just compartmentalized). I’d give them the old, “Oh, it’s messier than usual.” Lies. It’s the cleanest it’s been in weeks.

And every single one…always said the same…

“I think we need to do a little bit of re-organizing in here.”

oof the pain it would trigger.

I spent hours cleaning… HOURS!

Just to feel like that girl being mess shamed by her father all over again.

It just further affirmed my shame. This wasn’t even the real mess…and they’re already making comments….leading me to repress the mess even further.

So, when I said it out loud on the Zoom call, I knew…this is something I need to figure out.

like I said, you get what you ask for.

That week was not only one of my busiest, but to make matters worse I had two friends decide to drop in unexpectedly and a cleaning lady who was sick and couldn’t make it for my bi-weekly cleaning. (and yes, housekeeping was one of the first things I outsourced when I started making enough money. No shame in my game.)

I had no time to organize everything before their arrival, so I had to just start accepting that they were going to see my mess.

The Universe was directly confronting me with this shame and forcing me to face my fears.

Of course when I led with, “It’s really messy. No for real…it’s messy” I was greeted with oh it’s not that bad! Mine is worse!…relief.

As the next week came and went, with a still ill housekeeper, I knew this was The Universe forcing me to figure it out. I mean…I asked for it.

So, as I’m sitting in a Clubhouse room chatting with 7-figure coaches on how to improve productivity, I asked… “How do I stop being messy?”

“I clean, but within hours it’s messy again? how do I fix this?…help”

Their responses SHOCKED me.

It was along the lines of, “Girl, what do you mean? You’re a creative. Not only that, but you work at home. Of course your space is going to reflect all that energy that is being released…same thing happens to us.”

and then it all clicked.

In all my time spent working with bringing my Feminine & Masculine energies into balance, I’ve learned that the Masculine holds the space and the Feminine fills it up.

I notice this the most when I’m constructing a course, My Masculine energy is what holds the container, while my Feminine aspects goes in and fills it up.

Same thing happens with baby-making, the masculine plants the seed, while the feminine then expands, creates, and birth’s.

Femininity is chaos.

It’s our creative genius.

It takes a small seed of thought and turns it into creation.

When we blend in our more masculine aspects, we create a sort of controlled chaos.

As, someone who’s business relies on my ability to channel and create, the easiest thing I could do to block that creativity is take a break to clean and organize.

Somewhere in this societal structure, we’ve been taught that “women clean” but that’s not true…women, or “The Feminine” creates. The Masculine brings structure and order.

Therefore, when dealing with creatives it’s likely you’re going to encounter some level of chaos in their external world, because it’s from that chaos that they have the ability to harness and create.

If my focus were on cleaning and bringing order to my space, I would be working from The Masculine, which is not the ideal space for creation, rather the space to be in when taking action and building structures.

This journey is all about finding balance.

It’s about moving past these perceived flaws that society has taught us are shameful and wrong, and realizing that someone else's definition of success doesn’t have to be yours and vice-versa…your definition of success might not be someone else’s.

Perception is everything...

So, it’s time to own the mess and trust that when we learn to love and accept our flaws, other will be more inclined to do the same.