I DID A 21 DAY AFFIRMATION CHALLENGE & THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED…

On average we think up to 70,000 thoughts a day and of those 70,000 thoughts our dominant subconscious beliefs about ourselves and the world around us is what shapes our outer reality.

 This is why it is incredibly crucial that when we are looking to make major life changes or quantum leap into our desired realities - our main focus should not be on attempting to control our external realities, but instead focus more deliberately on what is going on inside of our own heads. 

Don’t believe it’s that simple?

Detach for a second from your own personal thoughts & beliefs and imagine how different life is for the person who believes that everything they want comes effortlessly vs. the person who believes nothing is ever easy. 

Of course, if you were to compare backgrounds and upbringings you would probably find two wildly different experiences that shaped each person's present day beliefs. Maybe one person comes from money while the other comes from a family that struggled to make ends meet. Regardless of either circumstance it all simply boils down to the thoughts & personal perspectives of each individual that has now in present day circumstances created a dominant assumption and expectation of how the world works.

So, what if we make a conscious effort to change our dominant beliefs and assumptions?

Can we make the leap from being the person who believes nothing is easy to the person who is confident that everything is easy? Probably not without discipline & a strict mental diet. 

What a lot of people don’t understand is that the hard part of achieving success has nothing to do with doing more in your external reality, the hard part is making a conscious effort to reprogram your mind and break past old habits and limiting beliefs. 

So, for 21 days I put it to the test by carving out an hour of my day to loop 10 or so affirmations and simply see what happens…

I’ve never been a big fan of affirmations, but as someone with a lot of time on her hands and a very active mind, my thoughts can often take me down some awful rabbit holes which have never served my anxious tendencies. So, I figured what’s the harm in taking an hour a day to feed myself with healthy thoughts? 

I went the simple route and focused mainly on self concept using a loop from The Value of The Phoenix on YouTube that’s titled “put yourself on the pedestal”. 

I’m going to be honest with you, I’m excellent at putting others on a pedestal but I’m not sure I’ve ever actually done it for myself. 

Some of the affirmations included:

I am special 

I am unique

People love to be in my presence 

I am one of a kind

I radiate love and passion

I can achieve anything I want

& there is nobody else like me

Of course, I wanted to set myself up for success, so, I didn’t simply repeat the affirmations, I actually structured my days to really align with those statements. 

I went in with a preset list of intentions and things I’ve been looking to manifest and really hoping that by focusing on myself I would begin to create the space to allow all of these things to show up. 

Before starting this challenge I had already been working towards physical & mental health goals I had set towards the beginning of the year. Most of March I had been working with a coach and doing hypnotherapy in attempts to help regulate my nervous system and from February - March I had lost 13lbs only to find myself at a plateau weight I have struggled to break past for the last two years.

 Starting this challenge was the perfect opportunity to further focus on these specific goals, which translated into me being more intentional about diet and routine. 

Every morning I used my 4-5 mile walk as an opportunity to listen to the affirmations tapes vs. my usual routine of listening to music and letting my mind wander in daydream. After my dedicated time  I didn’t really dwell on the affirmations. 

I really believe this part is crucial if you plan to do this or are affirming for anything currently. Think of the subconscious mind as a muscle - if you go to the gym and have a really solid workout you probably aren’t going to be thinking about it after the fact. 

You did it. It’s done. You keep doing it & before you know it your muscles slowly become more defined. 

Now, with that being said it’s also important to note that when working new muscles that first week you can definitely expect some pain & soreness. The key is not to give up but to continue strengthening the muscle and eventually that soreness will lessen. 

The same goes for changing our thoughts and reprogramming our minds. 

My week one experience was not exactly gentle. Early in the week it felt as though my intrusive thoughts were louder and more vicious than ever before. I reassured myself that this was simply my subconscious mind attempting to override my desire for change by implementing old self-sabotaging behaviors, but nonetheless, I would wake up every morning and continue with my affirmations.

 By the end of the week I was confronted with very unexpected and upsetting information and I’m not going to lie to you,  I was considering giving up on this whole thing right then and there. Again, I believe because this whole process was approached more from a place of experimentation I really was able to let things unfold naturally, which at the time was me allowing myself to be hurt, to cry, & to think all those old thoughts. But then I woke up the next day, went on my walk and listened to those damn affirmations.

This was where it started to get interesting…

When I allowed myself to have a little pity party and then immediately stuck to this simple routine, it didn’t take more than 24hrs for me to see this entire situation from a whole new perspective. In reality (my new one) exactly what I had been asking for is what manifested. It didn’t happen the way I expected, but it was still movement towards my ultimate goal. 

This was the moment I was truly able to surrender into trusting that it’s time to stop looking externally and start trusting that everything is working out in my favor. 

By week two my focus was even more so on myself. Having that old story purged from the week before was exactly what I needed to move even deeper into me. By this time health hacks were popping up on my TikTok feed that I was inspired to test out for myself. 

These were as simple as, taking probiotics in the morning & and drinking a poppi prebiotic soda at night and you’ll lose 7lbs in 7 days. Or, protein hacks to kick cravings. 

Having all these things show up for me almost effortlessly, really brought me to the enlightenment around the power of intention. 

If you simply set the intention of what you desire and then just let go, The Universe will guide you. Yes, sometimes it might be uncomfortable, but when we look at it from a big picture view, the more we simply go with the flow, the less resistance we create and the more we allow space for whatever it is we want to show up. 

By the end of week two you’re girl finally broke through that 2 year plateau and had a whole new self-care routine that felt absolutely glorious. 

When the weekend came around I wasn’t surprised to have heard from exes who “couldn’t stop thinking of me” or old friends wanting to meet up and commenting on how much they enjoy spending time with me & even a current friend stating verbatim “see you’re on the pedestal now” in response to one of the people coming forward & without knowing about my current affirmation challenge. 

It’s funny how these things work. 

By the end of week 2, moving into week 3 - I could definitely see my external reality start to reflect my new thoughts and behaviors and I will say I was starting to get a bit bored with the hour a day of repetition but they say it take 21 days to form a habit so I wasn’t going to quit prematurely over a little bit of positive movement. 

Week three felt very routine. Like I was just sort of hammering in some of these thoughts and behaviors and going through the motions. I didn’t have any huge movement or grand revelations but I did feel better. I noticed that I was no longer really giving into impulse or letting myself be hijacked by intrusive thoughts. I simply felt at peace. 

By the weekend I was being showered with praise and lots of gifts. I felt special and adored and really allowed myself to be in receiving mode and reaffirmed to myself that The Universe loves to spoil me. 

So, what was my conclusion on this experience? 

Well, I’m writing this a little after a week later. I’m so ingrained in the habit of my morning walks and affirmations that I have continued but switched to a new bundle of them, this time it’s goddess affirmations. Cause, why not? 

The week after the 21 days has honestly been when I’ve seen the most movement. Again some nasty triggers that forced me to purge some of those old story beliefs still lingering, but I also managed to shed an additional 5 lbs putting me well past my plateau and actually cementing my belief that I can achieve whatever I want through intention and just giving myself space and a whole lot of grace. 

Do I recommend an hour of affirmations everyday?

I believe that affirmations are not necessary to successfully manifest. Again, I think my biggest lesson in all of this has simply been the power of intention & that truly strong intention and the ability to surrender is all that matters. 

But, if you are like me and struggle with anxious tendencies and intrusive thoughts. Then taking an hour of your day to hyper focus your thoughts and/or throw in an hour of meditation can be seriously beneficial in helping you overcome the self-sabotage that comes along with anxiety and being able to regulate your nervous system to actually help you in achieving success. 

Overall I give it a 10/10 and plan to continue including it in my daily routine.

UPDATE: After 3 months of using this method I managed to lose another 15lbs and decided to create my very own affirmation tapes & hypnotic programing package which you can find linked here - “The Glow UP Mindset” includes a worksheet that utilizes a unique hypnotic intake technique that helps you identify root core beliefs to be flipped, affirmation tapes, and a hypnotic programming meditations that you can use consistency for 30 to 60 days!

Or if you are interested in creating your own affirmation tapes and hypnotic programming, check out the new software I am using called MINDZOOM where you can create your own tapes and subliminal right from your computer! Click here to check it out

Let me know if you plan to try it out and what challenge you want to see me do next!

Excuse the Mess…

Femininity…

How do we define The Feminine? and how have we been deceived by societal structures as to what we believe when it comes to certain gender roles that have been placed upon us?

These are some questions that have been weighing heavily on me lately.

At the beginning of the year, I hosted my very first online course. It was a 28-Day Manifestation Challenge geared towards helping people start their year off on the path to successfully manifesting their 2021 desires.

One thing I have learned when it comes to working with the Law of Attraction, is that you always get what you ask for. It’s just a matter of whether or not you are paying attention.

So, when we arrived at the final week of the course, during our Full Moon call, we chatted about blockages and what is currently blocking you from aligning with what it is you are looking to manifest?

And then someone asked me..

“Jen, what do you think is blocking you?”

Now, I could come up with a list of potential blockages, but the one I spouted out that night was…

“I’m Messy.”

I’m not talking emotionally messy…

I’m talking, my apartment is actually quite literally a mess.

If you were to walk in to my apartment on any given day, you’d see scattered clothes, unfinished art projects, and a dining table with an accumulation of things I have been working on throughout the week that I honestly can’t be bothered to organize.

You see, growing up I had two very tidy parents, a Father who to this day loves to “mess-shame” me, and a mother who harped that my external is a direct reflection of my internal.

So, naturally, I too developed shame around my mess.

It’s my dirty little secret that manifested into me not allowing people (especially men) to come into my home, because god forbid I reveal this apparent flaw in my character.

The ones I did allow to come over, was only after hours of me cleaning and hiding my mess in cabinets in closets (because it never went away, I just compartmentalized). I’d give them the old, “Oh, it’s messier than usual.” Lies. It’s the cleanest it’s been in weeks.

And every single one…always said the same…

“I think we need to do a little bit of re-organizing in here.”

oof the pain it would trigger.

I spent hours cleaning… HOURS!

Just to feel like that girl being mess shamed by her father all over again.

It just further affirmed my shame. This wasn’t even the real mess…and they’re already making comments….leading me to repress the mess even further.

So, when I said it out loud on the Zoom call, I knew…this is something I need to figure out.

like I said, you get what you ask for.

That week was not only one of my busiest, but to make matters worse I had two friends decide to drop in unexpectedly and a cleaning lady who was sick and couldn’t make it for my bi-weekly cleaning. (and yes, housekeeping was one of the first things I outsourced when I started making enough money. No shame in my game.)

I had no time to organize everything before their arrival, so I had to just start accepting that they were going to see my mess.

The Universe was directly confronting me with this shame and forcing me to face my fears.

Of course when I led with, “It’s really messy. No for real…it’s messy” I was greeted with oh it’s not that bad! Mine is worse!…relief.

As the next week came and went, with a still ill housekeeper, I knew this was The Universe forcing me to figure it out. I mean…I asked for it.

So, as I’m sitting in a Clubhouse room chatting with 7-figure coaches on how to improve productivity, I asked… “How do I stop being messy?”

“I clean, but within hours it’s messy again? how do I fix this?…help”

Their responses SHOCKED me.

It was along the lines of, “Girl, what do you mean? You’re a creative. Not only that, but you work at home. Of course your space is going to reflect all that energy that is being released…same thing happens to us.”

and then it all clicked.

In all my time spent working with bringing my Feminine & Masculine energies into balance, I’ve learned that the Masculine holds the space and the Feminine fills it up.

I notice this the most when I’m constructing a course, My Masculine energy is what holds the container, while my Feminine aspects goes in and fills it up.

Same thing happens with baby-making, the masculine plants the seed, while the feminine then expands, creates, and birth’s.

Femininity is chaos.

It’s our creative genius.

It takes a small seed of thought and turns it into creation.

When we blend in our more masculine aspects, we create a sort of controlled chaos.

As, someone who’s business relies on my ability to channel and create, the easiest thing I could do to block that creativity is take a break to clean and organize.

Somewhere in this societal structure, we’ve been taught that “women clean” but that’s not true…women, or “The Feminine” creates. The Masculine brings structure and order.

Therefore, when dealing with creatives it’s likely you’re going to encounter some level of chaos in their external world, because it’s from that chaos that they have the ability to harness and create.

If my focus were on cleaning and bringing order to my space, I would be working from The Masculine, which is not the ideal space for creation, rather the space to be in when taking action and building structures.

This journey is all about finding balance.

It’s about moving past these perceived flaws that society has taught us are shameful and wrong, and realizing that someone else's definition of success doesn’t have to be yours and vice-versa…your definition of success might not be someone else’s.

Perception is everything...

So, it’s time to own the mess and trust that when we learn to love and accept our flaws, other will be more inclined to do the same.

Capricorn Lunar Eclipse: Reconnecting with My Past Self.

Last night I had a dream...

I had flown to San Francisco in order to visit some cliffs an hour outside of the city. As I came upon them, there was this all too familiar feeling. I had been here before. I knew the unexpected twists and turns of the road. I knew exactly where I was headed and what I would see when I arrived. I was back. It was this overwhelming feeling that the purpose of my trip was fulfilled, to come back to this exact spot. Back to these cliffs that overlooked a vast beautiful ocean. If only for a second before I move forward onto my next adventure.

Before I settled into bed last night and began to traverse my expansive dream world, I was thinking about this upcoming Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn, and I was prompted with the question, “What have you mastered in the last two years?”

The question would go unanswered, only to be revisited when I woke up this morning. “What have you mastered in the last two years?”

Curiously, I woke up from my dream only to look at my Facebook memories and see that two years ago I just so happened to be in San Francisco on this exact date….

Coincidence? I think not. 

Having a total of six Capricorn placements in my chart, you can imagine that this Full Moon is anything but a gentle experience for me at the moment. As a collective, we are forced to evaluate the thoughts and connections in our lives that no longer serve our higher purpose. We are forced to evaluate where we are on our path to success and in which ways have we allowed ourselves to fall behind?

It forces us to ask the question, “What have you done in the last 2 years?”

As someone with a heavy mix of Capricorn and Virgo, perfectionism is my downfall. My life is comprised of setting massive goals and striving to achieve them. With a belief that if I’m not pursuing some kind of dream, then I’m not living, I have a tendency to discredit all my hard work when I let off the gas or fall short of my projected timelines. 

So, asking myself what have I mastered in the last two years has the ability to send me down a self-deprecating spiral of instead asking…How have I failed myself in the last two years?

But then…I had my dream.

I’ve never visited any cliffs in San Francisco, nor am I sure they exist. In reality, anyways. BUT I received the message loud & clear. I was literally taken back to who I was two years ago on that monumental trip. 

A 26year old “retired” Professional golfer, who was just beginning to learn that she didn’t need to see herself as a failure just because she fell short on her goal. A girl who was learning to be proud of all she accomplished and the many lessons she learned on this designated path. A girl who was redefining who she had believed herself to be after 26 years of dedicating her life to a story that would no longer be told. Most importantly, It was that weekend, I realized that I had a lot of living left to do, and it was time to start writing my next chapter. 

It was literally that trip, after attending a Bob Proctor seminar, where the wheels were set in motion. So, here I am beating myself up for thinking I haven’t mastered anything in the last 2 years, feeling like I’ve failed myself, similar to how my 26-year-old self felt 2 years ago. 

And then I remember. There is no such thing as “2 years ago”. The timelines I created are just that. Timelines that I create. There is no such thing as failure. Only Movement. 

Of course, I am revisited by that past version of myself, because it was that weekend that I set the intention to be the version of myself I am RIGHT NOW. Of course, I would feel a familiarity with those cliffs and of course, I would want to go back. That’s where I leaped, and I’m preparing myself to leap again.

So, I’ll ask again, “What have I mastered in the last 2 years?”

I’ve created a business that is fully aligned in the feminine construct. I’ve destroyed timelines and external structures and now fully align myself and my business with nature, The Moon, and my own body. I’ve created an environment in which I get to lean fully into my feminine energy and The Universe gets to provide for me. Talk about an ideal relationship. My only job is to focus on my own spiritual growth and nurturing my creations in order to better provide others with the space and energy for healing. 

As 2020 has forced us to pause and purge, we find ourselves slowly moving out of patriarchal structures. The emphasis of these 9-5 routines are slowly falling away. People are waking up. We’re reconnecting with nature. With ourselves. We’re beginning to understand that to truly help the whole, we must first help ourselves become whole. 

So, as we feel all the energies of the lunar eclipse, and we decide which chapters will be coming to a close, and which are merely beginning. I welcome you to arrive at the edge of your own cliff as we journey into the new age. Many of you set the intentions long ago to arrive at this exact moment, whether consciously or unconsciously. So, it's not about asking yourself how far you've come... it's asking yourself whether or not you're ready to jump.

2020: The Year of Miracles

I suppose I should start this off by wishing everyone a Happy New Year! 

As we enter 2020, we are not only starting fresh with a new calendar year, but also an entirely new DECADE. Some of us have resolutions set to go to the gym more, establish careers, release the fears that hinder our success, or perhaps take more time to give ourselves the T.L.C. we are craving in our day-to-day lives. 

2019, for me, was a massive year of growth and establishing a renewed sense of independence. It was about answering questions like, "who am I?", "What am I doing", and "Where am I going?" It was the year I removed limitations, established a solid foundation for success, and took a hell of a lot of risks. Some paid off...some did not. BUT despite the occasional failures, I chose to see tremendous beauty and bravery in the attempts. 

2019 brought in many new friendships for me, as well as deepened connections with pre-existing ones. As we counted down the last ten seconds of the year I was surrounded by friends, this feeling had such a profound sense of importance to me knowing I'd be taking this love for the people in my life into the New Year.  

Two years ago my life began to transform when I read "A Course in Miracles". Beginning to see the little miracles that occur in our daily lives, like seeing "11:11" to the big Miracles of having those deep epiphanic moments of realizing all the love I need in my life not only surrounds me but is also already within me. It is just a matter of allowing it to be felt, being open to experiencing these divine moments of love, and knowing that even the smallest of miracles, is still a miracle.  

In the weeks leading up to New Year’s Eve, I began to re-read parts of the manuscript that I had highlighted and bookmarked back in 2017. Not only did the words still resonate, but parts I may have overlooked in the past held more meaning for me now. This book took me nearly a year to finish in order to truly digest its teachings. It is not for the faint of heart, but I highly recommend it if you are looking to change your life. Because the book had such an impact on me, I have tied it into one of my 2020 resolutions of wanting to get back to writing and also reconnecting with all the beautiful teachings I have learned and hope to share those learnings with others. 

2019 was my year of saying yes. Yes to Adventure. Yes to success. Yes to failures. Yes to heartbreak. Yes to LOVE. 

2019 was realizing that the ultimate form of self-love, I've learned, comes from allowing yourself the safety to feel every single one of these things and not choosing to deprive yourself out of fear. 

2019  was about slowly knocking down the walls around me and breaking out of the chains I created for myself. 

Moving into 2020, I feel an innate sense of freedom, which both frightens and excites me. I feel a sense of unlimited potential for where I can go in the New Year/Decade. So, my intention is simple. "You are Safe." 

Safe to grow.

Safe to feel.

Safe to be whatever you want to be. 

Safe to Believe In Miracles.

But most importantly,

You are safe to allow those Miracles (big or small) to bring joy and love in to transform your life. 

-J

The Power Of Divine Energy

I got my first tattoo this weekend. My small form of rebellion, marking my body permanently in hopes of releasing some form of self-expression. It's a small little runic symbol tucked behind my ear, barely visible to anyone unless they were to catch me with my hair in a ponytail. Weeks of trying to decide what I wanted, and weeks of heading towards completely different paths, the day I walked in I had sort of backtracked completely and decided to go with this small symbol that came with a simple meaning, divine energy. Afterward, I really took the time to think about what exactly does this symbol I just permanently put on my body really means to me. 

When I was younger, my grandmother gifted me a set of runes. A little satchel full of stones, each with a tribal symbol that holds its own personal meaning. I was taught that if you ask a question, reach into the bag, pull out a stone, then the meaning behind that stone will have the answer to the question you seek. It's always been an interesting notion to me that in moments of total despair and confusion we tend to look towards the "supernatural" to give us answers. Myself, being someone who works in the field of energy and helping people via mediums that most would dubb with an element of magic, or having "special powers", it never ceases to amaze me the faith people will put into my abilities to fix their problems, not realizing that I'm merely just guiding them towards awakening that superhuman part of themselves. See that's the thing about these rules, they're not magic. I'm the magic. YOU are the magic. These stones and their meanings are just there to remind you of that. One in particular always calls out to me, naturally it's the one I chose to put on my body. The symbol of divine energy. That which flows through the earth flows through us, and out into the ethers. The same energy that helps flowers grow and bloom, give us life. The same energy that makes the stars shine, is also within us. SO, tell me, how does that not make each one of us magic? 

I've been asking a lot of questions these past few weeks. Getting caught up in the "Why's" of life. Why did this happen to me? Why did they do that to me? Why does this keep happening? Our egos have this nasty little habit of making everything about ourselves. Our ego also keeps us tragically human. Amidst asking ourselves all these questions, we're putting blame on ourselves for allowing others to hoodwink, bamboozle, lead us astray. Instead of trying to find the answer to these questions from external sources, we need to hear the call coming from within asking to be given more self-love and forgiveness. We won't find resolution from seeking justice on those who wronged us or get answers and apologies from those who don't believe they've done anything wrong. So, instead of wasting your energy hoping for certain outcomes or answers to your questions, you need to learn to understand that as hard as it might be to believe...not everything is about you. Not everyone loves or cares at the capacity you do. Not everyone has the same concepts of right vs. wrong. Some people are going through their own internal struggles, and their behavior and actions towards you is a projection of THEM, not YOU! Read that again. 

In all my life, I have known this to be true, all that exists in this world is love. Fear is not real, only projections created by our ego. When we tap into that source of life within us, we have all the answers we seek. Intuition, emotions, feelings are the magic that exists in the world and what makes each and every one of us superhuman. Yet, most people fear these gifts so much that they'll never allow themselves to tap into that inner genius that is more powerful than any human notion we might have. I rely on this belief, this supernatural side of myself in times when I'm not really sure what or why certain things are happening in my life. It's my trust in this, divine energy, and The Universe that has led me through some incredible adventures and gotten me through some of the darkest times of my life. 

Listening to my inner divinity and choosing this for my tattoo couldn't be more fitting for me, and comes at a time where I too must remind myself that I don't have to look far for my answers. Sometimes, it's remembering that you already have the answers to all the questions you seek. Knowing that when we look to ourselves and the divine energy that flows within us, we will never be lacking in that in which we are in need.   

What's The Rush?

My last post was dated, February 5th. Today Is Currently, April 15th. For starters, how are we already in the Spring of 2019? Where has the time gone? Why has it moved so fast? Also, I'm shocked at my lack of inspiration lately to find things to write about. Perhaps, it's been my inability to form coherent thoughts. If you were to take a peek at my journal the last few weeks, you might think they were the scribbles of a madwoman. Working with so many different people, helping them sort through their emotions and find balance will definitely take its toll on your own mental clarity and the time I do have for myself I'd much rather be outside of my thoughts, rather than sorting through them. 

That's the killer, isn't it? Thinking. Time. Having time to think. Thinking too much.  I've learned that it is so important to be responsible with your time, allowing yourself the time to feel, heal, and process. Not rushing yourself, despite the world forcing this sense of urgency upon us, this sense that we have to be on certain timelines, or that the things we want must come to us immediately otherwise why put forth any effort in waiting for that in which we want. We're trained by our surroundings to expect immediacy in our daily lives. Hungry? Click a few buttons and within 30 minutes, it shall come to you. Don't know the answer to something? Google it. Lonely? Open one of the many apps, make a couple of swipes, throw a few likes, and before you know it, you're bound to have a fish on the hook. 

We live in a day and age, where literally everything is at our fingertips. A world where instant gratification is so achievable, that it honestly makes us so lazy as a society. In working with many different people on an energetic level, it seems as though, as a collective there has been a huge struggle in communication. Being open, honest. Not just with others, but ourselves. There are so many ways we can distract our brains, so many outlets, not all necessarily being healthy, in order to avoid facing and confronting the things we really need to work on within ourselves. 

This is by no means an attack, considering, I too am guilty of the same behavior, but understanding when it's time to take a step back and realizing the reality of certain situations. Facing the music. Wanting things in your life, yet not putting forth the effort in order to make these things happen. Wanting that perfect relationship, but finding dissatisfaction in every attempt because it's not an instant feeling of connection. Thinking that there will always be better, yet constantly being disappointed. You've got to allow yourself the time to grow into things. You have to put in the work and effort to build foundations. The same goes for careers or pursuing passions. Things aren't always going to happen with the snap of your finger. You've got to make the commitments and stick through it even if the going get's tough. Most importantly, when it comes to working on yourself, STOP SETTLING! Majority of the time we aren't getting what we want out of life, it's our own damn faults. Being honest with yourself and actually making the effort to grow and change may be one of the hardest tasks we are faced with. 

Every time I have experienced a disappointment or a setback, I find this is the most important time for me to take a step back, feel what I need to feel, process, heal, and then grow from it. So often I see people use distractions to keep themselves from taking the time to actually heal and in turn, end up repeating the same exact cycles of hurt and disappointment. I suppose it can be easier to maintain the comfort of reliving a certain experience, rather than actually confronting those nasty fears and emotions, looking in the mirror and realizing maybe it's you. It's not fun, but the beauty is as soon as you face that cold, hard, ugly truth you are one step closer to growing and evolving. Unfortunately for most, self-awareness is not enough to make the change. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORT TO CHANGE! This is where I find people get stuck. 

"Well, that's just who I am." 

Ok, fair enough, but, then you can't complain when the same obstacles keep repeating in your life. 

Patience is a virtue. Cliché, but oh so true, and something we as a society need to be reminded of. Have patience, with the people you love, the people you don't... and most importantly be patient with yourself! Challenge yourself to start seeing things from a different perspective, to really make an effort. We can get so wrapped up in our own thoughts and cycles of overthinking and overanalyzing that we let time pass us by without ever taking action, instead of remembering that sometimes the best achievements in life, are the ones that come from moments when we give ourselves the freedom wholeheartedly to go after the things we want.    

What Life on The Road Taught Me About Love & Relationships

I had a client ask me, "How do I deepen my relationships, with friends, family, and lovers?" The message and advice that came to me was something that made me think about my own involvement with others. How do we use spirituality to maximize our moments and our relationships with other people? How do we learn to allow the space for others to come to us? Most importantly, when the time comes, how do we learn to let go?

Traveling all over the country for golf, I was constantly staying in host housing. Strangers who let me into their homes for a week. They would cook for me, stay up late talking to me, treating me like family in one of the most lonely and grueling times of my life. These people were my saviors on the road. When Sunday would roll around, I knew the fate that I would have to face. Sundays were the day I'd have to say goodbye to the people who started out as strangers and by the end of the week felt like family. Family that I would most likely never see again. I got used to feeling the tight squeeze of their hugs and seeing the sadness in their eyes at realizing that the week had come to an end. I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't break a little each time, but by Sunday evening I'd be in a new city, a new home, with a new family, ready to repeat the same cycle all over again, knowing very well that the next Sunday was only 7 days away. 

Goodbyes are never easy, and when you say it enough you become a sort of expert at handling them. Knowing that people are put in your life for a reason, sometimes a season, and when the time comes to move on, knowing you gave all you could to the moments you spent with those people. Sundays were always a sad day for me, but not once did that keep me from giving myself fully to the people I'd be spending the next week with. So, I'd take the pain of goodbye, because the blessing and joys of the deep bond I had formed with these people were far greater than any sadness I could possibly feel. Call it, bittersweet. 

My second year on the road, I went through my own heartbreak. Not wanting to let go of a failed relationship, which channeled its way into my performance, which in turn doubled the heartbreak when it came to my failed career goals. It was one of the most difficult times of my life, emotionally, but the silver lining was the lessons that I learned in that time period. The days that I felt good, were the days that I was around people, being fully present in that moment with whoever I was with at the time. Giving 100% of myself to whoever it is that is currently present with me. Nothing else could possibly exist in those moments. 

The bad days, were days where I could be alone or with people and instead of focusing on my immediate surroundings. I would focus on the past. Memories. Wondering where someone is and what they are doing. Wonder why things didn't turn out the way I'd hoped for. It was this inability to let go, that kept me from living in the present moment and ultimately being happy in that present moment. 

It's amazing to me how I could fearlessly give myself to these strangers and at the end of the week move on, feeling love and joy for having had the opportunity to experience these encounters. Yet, when it comes to relationships, why is it that letting go can never be that simple? Maybe, it's the expectations we set. Living in the future, instead of being present in the moment. Enjoying the time we have with that person and loving with our whole hearts, regardless of how long or short our time maybe with them. People can only match you, where you are at. If I would have had my guard up around these families, then chances are they would have done the same. Yes, moving to different homes week to week might have been easier, but It would have been far less fulfilling and my most precious moments on the road have everything to do with the relationship and people that crossed my path along the way. 

Some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Some people are meant to teach us lessons. Lessons in heartbreak and lessons in love. Whether they are lovers or friends. All the many goodbyes I have had to say in my life taught me a whole lot about love, and how when we open ourselves up to experiencing these moments, being fully present, giving ourselves to others without expectations, there is never a shortage of love available to you. When we operate from a place of fear, people will match that. So, if you want deeper relationships and stronger bonds, only you can dictate how much you are willing to give of yourself, respecting how present others may choose to make themselves to you, and understanding that sometimes timing comes into play and people may not always have the capacity to match your energy. Knowing in these moments that sometimes it's best to walk away, trusting that if something is meant to be, it will be. 

As much as we may want to, we can't control other people. We can't force others to make the decisions we'd like them to. What we can control is how present we are in each moment. How much we give to each moment. Are you giving your energy to the past? Or are you giving energy to the future? Neither one exist. Remember that when you feel hurt, or anxious. It does NOT exist. Only the feeling you've attached to that moment exists. 

Nothing stays the same. 

It can be one of the most heartbreaking truths, but there is also so much beauty in the fact that whatever hurt or sadness you may feel, won't last forever. So, if you are craving more meaningful relationships, stop taking people for granted when you have them right in front of you. Love like there is an expiration date. When the time comes, find the beauty in the time you spent and the experiences you were able to have with those people. Not only will you invite more love into your life, but it will give you a new sense of gratitude for the people who give themselves fully to you, but also how to recognize those who make the effort to find ways to stick around your life a little bit longer.   

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2019: The Year of No More Disappointments.

Welcome to 2019! how's everyone doing so far? Still, basking in the freshness of this new motivating energy? Ready to tackle a new year? Grow a little bit more. Move further away from the things we chose to finally leave behind back in 2018? It seems as a collective, 2018 was a big year for growth and transitions. No longer giving energy towards that which doesn't serve you and really moving towards finding that long term sustainable happiness. If you're late to the game, worry not, it's never too late to start on your pursuit of happiness. 

We are in that window of time where parking spots at the gym become harder to come by, and our workouts are filled with many fresh new faces hoping to implement new activities into their routines. By the time February rolls around the crowd thins out and life sort of teeters back to that previous state of comfort. Perhaps, it is the pressure of having to completely uproot and change your life as the clock strikes midnight. Or, it's the self-sabotaging fear of disappointment that holds us back from sticking to our resolutions and reaching our maximum potential. 

Whether it's a New Years Resolution or something that's been on your list of things to do for a while, make today the day that you stop blocking yourself from what it is you truly want. Have you been wanting to start a blog? Maybe write a book? Maybe start a side gig? What's stopping you? What is the reason you are saying one day instead of today? Think about it. There are so many excuses we can make and so many ways in which we sabotage ourselves, but today I feel like talking about that pesky fear of being disappointed. Mainly, because it's one of the things I have decided not to bring into 2019. 

Detach From Your Emotions

For the longest time, I could never understand this concept. Being a highly emotional person, in the sense that my passion and emotions are what drive me, I never understood how I could be passionate, give something my all, and then remove my emotions from the equation. I heard this the most while I was playing golf. At the risk of sounding dramatic, (which, I am) I would put all of my heart into this area of my life, which is what made my disappointments all the more soul-crushing. When you have your heart broken so many times, you build up a wall. It's your internal defense system. Instead of being shocked and hurt by the disappointment, you just learn to expect it. Makes it easier right? Well, wrong. In building this fortress of "protection", you actually begin to pass up on opportunities for success because you are stuck being attached to some emotion from a past situation that you are bringing into the present. This shot right here is not the same shot I may have missed in the past. The relationship you are contemplating with this new person is not going to be the same as the one you had with a completely different person. You must detach yourself from this emotion that stems from past situations. Past Fears. There is no reason for it to be present at this moment unless you bring it there. It manifests in all areas of your life. For me, it got to a certain point where I had to analyze, why am I constantly being disappointed? I can't say I was shocked when I concluded that I am the common denominator. 

It's YOU

If you're asking yourself why the same thing keeps happening, you should know it is you. Sorry. Someone's got to say it. We are all guilty of this, so you are not alone. It's important, to be honest with yourself on how you may be sabotaging yourself. Not just in relationships, but a career, and life in general. It is so easy to resort back to what is comfortable, what is safe. Amidst building our walls that are meant to keep out disappointment, we are also blocking things that might truly bring us happiness. Not wanting to let people in, out of fear they'll let us down as all the other ones do. SO you start acting a bit colder and more detached. Not pursuing a passion, because of how awful it would feel to go for something only to fail. When we set ourselves up immediately focusing on all the ways we could be disappointed, then what generates in our lives is more disappointments. It's a self-created, vicious, cycle.

What You Focus On Grows!

I've said this in many of my posts, but it's worthy of repeats and constant reminders. If you are constantly focused on how you've been disappointed in the past, how you could potentially fail, or how you'll be let down in the future, you will create it. Our minds are very powerful. Be cautious of where it is you are directing it. Instead, try focusing on all the good that can come of it. Focus on the things about whatever it is you want that makes you happy, don't sweat the small stuff. Start focusing on all the ways things can go right, and begin to detach from those past thoughts and past hurts. Doing this alone will help you see tremendous shifts throughout your life. 

Life is easy if we decide to let it be, you just have to learn to be selective of your thoughts. Emotions are not what we should be afraid of, it's our inability to express an emotion that keeps us trapped reliving the past, and past traumas/heartbreak. So, if you are cutting cords this new year, go ahead and decide to separate yourself from the emotions and failures of the past. It is a new year after all, and tomorrow is a new day. When you finally do decide to let that wall down, you might be surprised to find all the things that have been dying to get inside. 

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Tips and Affirmations on Manifesting More Money Into Your Life.

Well, December has been quite the plot twist I needed to round out 2018. At the beginning of the year, I was moving through a transitional period of having traveled year-round competing in professional events and spending 8-10 hour days at the golf course, to making a decision to move on from competing and seek out new adventures. The best way I can explain the first half of the year was going through somewhat of a mild depression. Imagine doing something you are extremely passionate about every day. Waking up and having a routine, goals to work towards, events to get ready for. When I decided to move on from golf, I went through a phase where my days lacked purpose. I didn't have the drive to get out of the house, overwhelmed with the newfound freedom and a change of routine that had been ingrained in me for so long, saying I was lost is quite the understatement. 

One thing I was never confused about, was that I did not want to have to succumb to a 9-5 lifestyle. My freedom has always been very important to me, and giving that up for me would be just outright changing the essence of who I am. As I said before, life is an adventure, one that is full of plot twists and surprises. We can get so caught up in the comfort of our routines, but remember it's when we are feeling lost that we are forced to find the light that leads us out of the darkness. The first 6 months of 2018 was spent barely surviving month to month, contemplating if it was time to sell my soul to some corporate 9-5, to December where I have logged my first 10K+ month, all while still maintaining my freedom and doing what I am absolutely passionate about. If you asked me about 2018 in September, I would have told you it was one of the worst, least exciting years to date. Now, on the precipice of 2019, I can tell you I have learned some of the MOST valuable life lessons, on growth and determination by being in those lows and I can't wait to see where it leads in the New Year. 

So, In the spirit of New Years and New Beginnings, I've decided to share with you some of the lessons and affirmations that have gotten me through the year and led to more abundance in financial success:

Think Outside The Box

When anyone asks me what it is I do for work I find this to be such a hard question to answer. The better question is what don't I do? Luckily, with golf, I have still been able to work events and for the majority of the year, I was relying on those events to pay my bills. What an excellent way to make money, by selling a service, one I am very skilled at. This led to my first light bulb moment. What else am I good at, what else do I enjoy doing that I can potentially turn into a source of income? Sometimes we get so caught up in what society tells us we must do in order to live happy comfortable lives when the reality is sometimes all it takes is a little creativity and out-of-the-box ideas to get you where you really want to go. 

Nobody is getting rich off their 9-5

Sure, you might be making a nice salary, but normally in the corporate world, More Money = Less Freedom. In a time where the whole world is available at your fingertips, I truly believe that developing a side-gig is what will ultimately get you where you would like to go. For the people with the excuse of, "Not having the time." Be honest with yourself, and figure out whether you don't have the time, or you just are too lazy to make the effort? In the first half of the year, I was the, don't have the time girl. Yet, I was putting my energy towards a life of production that wasn't producing. Sometimes, it's good to feel tight because it forces you to stretch and figure out ways to grow. Some mornings I wake up at 5 am just to have the time to get something done, while not sacrificing any other parts of my day. It's just a question of how bad you want something. 

FAIL FASTER

Instead of being afraid to fail, start learning to look at the positives of failures. This might have been the best lesson I learned all year. Stop planning and start doing, the quicker you fail, the quicker you can learn how to re-adjust and reshape however you were approaching things before. If you are trying to find a successful side-gig or seeing what business ideas might take off, start by just doing it. That way you learn quickly what works and what doesn't.

GET OVER YOURSELF

I can not stress this enough! Friends, we live in a world where if you are not promoting yourself or using the world wide web to bring in business. You are MISSING OUT. Having online biz, I have learned it can be the easiest most effortless way to make money. While you physically may only be able to connect with people on an in-person basis, the internet allows you to connect with people GLOBALLY. Whatever, little niche service you offer, there is a good chance there is a market for it. It's up to you to be willing to put yourself out there. Stop letting fear of what other people think of you keep you from pursuing the life you want. Chances are those people don't matter anyway, and if you are someone who does that to other people, well stop judging and start learning. Cause I guarantee, at the end of the month when this person is checking their bank account they don't give AF what you are thinking about them. 

KNOW YOUR WORTH

Just like I've learned to invest in properties that will provide me with financial gains, I've learned it's important to do the same for yourself. Invest in you, believe in yourself. This year I have spent a good chunk of money on self-improvement, life coaches, in order to help me figure my sh*t out. What a damn good investment. The biggest thing I took away from all these sessions, is to stop doing shit for FREE. In all aspects of your life. Stop giving people your time for free, it's called the law of compensation. If I provide you with a service, then in order to energetically bring balance you must be compensated for your time and service, this could be monetarily or even in regards to friendships and partnerships, you should be spending time with people who match you energetically not people who deplete you. People who don't understand this are probably people with who you shouldn't be doing business or having relationships with. When you are first beginning it is very difficult to charge people, personally, I struggled with this a lot in the beginning, am I really qualified to be charging for things like networking? Energy Healing? or Life Coaching. I picked up this nice little affirmation, "People love to pay me for my services." I think back on all the times I have willingly paid people for their services no matter how wild it was, and I have paid happily because as I said there should always be reciprocity. You are the one who set's your own value, the people that resonate with you will follow suit. If you give your time for free, you will always lack the personal confidence necessary to make money. 

Making Money is Really F*cking Easy

Start saying this to yourself every day! You may not believe in the law of attraction or the power of affirmations, but let me tell you it has changed my life. I make money and get to do all the things I love, and I still have the time to travel and do whatever the hell I want. SO, I'll leave you with these affirmations. "The more money I make, the more money I make." haven't you noticed those multimillionaires are making money in their sleep at this point? It's because once you get over that terror barrier of making money or charging people for your time and service, you build the confidence in yourself that you can do it. Not only am I making money, but I feel so fulfilled doing so because I am helping others at the same time do the same things. It's easy to be motivated every day to pursue my passions, and the beautiful thing is people want to pay you! 

So, friends, let your 2019 affirmation be, I AM A MONEY MAGNET! Currency, it's all energy. When you learn the laws of the universe life becomes easy and you can allow yourself the freedom to design yours the way you would like it. Learn to do less, work smarter, not harder. When I sat down with my life coach/hypnotherapist back in October, I made a goal to hit 10k a month by March. I did that in December!! All it took was being a little bit more open-minded, a little bit more confident in myself and what I'm doing, and a few simple yet powerful affirmations. I am not special. If I can do it, I really and truly believe anyone else can as well, you just have to be willing to commit to radical beliefs and get a little bit creative. There is so much opportunity in the world, you just have to open your eyes and stop limiting yourself. Like I said the more money I make, the more money make, so you best believe I am excited to see where 2019 is headed!

Happy New Year

xx

-J

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The Beauty Of Being Lost

I've always wondered what it'd be like to be a person with a clear vision of life. A person who has an idea of how they were going to live their life start to finish. Where they're going and how they are getting there. Sometimes, I get upset with myself that I'm not as rigid and strict with my life plans as others are. Sometimes, I feel like a mess. Sometimes, I feel very lost. 

Growing up, I've always been considered by those around me to be somewhat of an idealist. My head has always been in the clouds, and to be honest, I don't think it intends to come down any time soon. As I've gotten older and perhaps, wiser, I've also learned that it can be an insanely beautiful thing to be lost. I think the problem with life, that brings us pain and heartaches is believing that we've ever been or will be "found". 

When we are kids, we have dreams of being doctors, superheroes, movie stars, maybe even professional golfers. As children, we are taught that it's ok to dream. It's ok to believe you can be whatever you'd like to be. We are given the freedom to see the world with this wide-eyed innocence because we are too young and naive to know any better. So tell me, at what point does reality shift into this dark, dim, world lacking hope and happiness? At what point is it time to "grow up" or "figure it out"? I'm still pretty convinced the whole idea of figuring anything out in this lifetime, is pretty much a myth. See that's the thing. The people who you see, living their dreams, and being successful doing so...you might not believe this, but they never grew up from that childhood optimism. They never let those fears of society creep in on them, telling them they're not good enough, or that they were going to fail. 

Whenever I travel to a new city, I love to take a day to just get lost. Walk down streets I've never seen before, find cute little cafes that I probably would have never found if I yelped or googled my way around. Having traveled by myself quite a bit, I always find it funny when I travel with new people and the question is always, without fail..."Do you even know where we are going?" NO. I don't. That's the point. Because when you allow yourself to get lost, sometimes, that's when you stumble upon something you might have never expected. 

It's the same in life. Sometimes, you have to just know what it is you want, and instead of planning out the specifics, allow life to just guide you to it. Who knows, you might just happen upon something really great along the way. The idea of being lost to many, is very scary, but why? We live in a time where all the information in the world, is sitting right in our back pockets if we need it. Perhaps, the problem is that we are too connected. Instead of having that internal connection and communication with ourselves, we are so focused on what our externals are telling us to do and not following our hearts. Not pursuing the things that will make us happy, and letting other people's fears dictate how we live our lives.

I have never worked a 9-5 office job, and believe me, I never will. It's amazing to me how some people consider this as lacking hard work and dedication. Playing professional golf I spent 8-10 hours a day working on my game and my mind. I started this job, seriously, at the age of 12. Some of the things I am most grateful for golf teaching me is, how to navigate life by lessons I've learned on the course. Realizing that majority of the hard work and advancements we make in life are due to our thoughts and what we believe, vs. the time we spend putting in physical labor. If you are someone who thinks hard work is sacrifice, you are wrong, and probably not very happy. I'll tell you what hard work is...Hard work is waking up everyday and fighting the resistance you feel to live a life of conformity instead of pursuing what actually makes you happy. Fighting that voice of fear that tells you to just go get that 9-5, give up your weeks and your time to make a paycheck, it's not like this dream of yours is ever going to take off. Majority of my daily energy is spent telling that voice to FUCK OFF! Trusting is something that doesn't come easily, but if you are someone with a dream, let me tell you it's 20% action and 80% trust. Cause without that trust, you won't be seeing any action. Each time I feel tight or lost, I just trust that The Universe, God, whatever you choose to believe, has my f*cking back and let me tell you I have yet to be let down.  

When we set these crazy specific plans for how our lives are supposed to go, every time we hit a snag, we are immediately on the defense. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? Baby, maybeeee it's happening for you? Silly, for you to think you have it figured out. Instead, when we allow ourselves to go with the flow of life, enjoying the journey rather than try to rush towards a destination we are greeted by beautiful and incredible experiences. Which, sometimes even come from those times we felt the most broken and lost. 

So yes, the truth is you are going to fail. You are going to be scared. You are going to get your heartbroken. There will be times where you feel extremely LOST, but just like those beautiful unknown city streets, allow yourself to take the time to wander through life. If you feel lost, maybe the answer you're looking for can be found in losing yourself a little bit more. You might end up finding something you never even knew you were looking for.    

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