Creating Space
Any of my yogis out there know that the entire purpose of a flow is to build up to that one pose. We can't just jump right into these difficult poses we have to prepare and work with our bodies in order to get our bodies to work with us. The time spent flowing through these poses creates a symbiotic relationship between our minds and our body and after time we begin to see the truly incredible things we are capable of when we create the space for it.
Just as we can create space in our bodies, we can do so in our minds and for those around us.
START WITH YOU
Before you can create a "Safe Space" for someone else you have to be able to do it for yourself. We can be so generous in providing forgiveness and acceptance when it comes to our loved ones, yet we tend to react to our own misjudgments much more harshly.
When we learn to work with ourselves from a place of love and nurturing, we begin to create opportunities for growth. By accepting our flaws we create a safer environment within ourselves, to be ourselves.
WORKING WITH OTHERS
I've learned that when you bring your authentic self to the table, it encourages others to do the same. Just as we ask to be accepted for who we are, we must also provide the same courtesy to other people.
So often we see people create these ideas and expectations in their heads about how they want someone to be and you begin to realize it has so little to do with who that person really is and more to do with their own personal projections.
We can't change people, and if we are truly content with ourselves I don't think we should want to. The flaws we see in other people, highlight something that is inside of us. When we work on changing that part of us that evokes that behavior from other people that is when we can start to see the changes in our relationships.
The concept of unconditional love is that we choose to love someone despite all the things that we might perceive as flaws. When you really want someone to be apart of your life (Friendship, or Romantic) we have to create space for them to feel comfortable and accepted. Society teaches us to love with so many conditions that when we strip away all these barriers it gives us room to grow stronger foundations and create more acceptance in the world.
CREATING BOUNDARIES
In my experience, I've learned that when I truly care about someone, instead of trying to change them, I just accept and learn how to communicate with them in a way that they are most responsive to. When discussing topics like these, it is important to make sure you are setting boundaries. Just because I have changed the way I am communicating with a person doesn't not mean I am willing to change myself. You can make all the effort in the world to understand someone, but at the end of the day if you are not getting the respect you deserve in return then that's when it's important to have boundaries set and know when something is no longer serving you.
I've had people in my life who are always asking me to change and doing nothing on their end to fix the situation and I have had people who despite serval spurts of conflict continue to say "never change". I think the majority of your relationships are going to experience conflict, no two people are exactly alike. Instead of viewing it as something that person needs to change about themselves, we have to just accept them for who they are and either lead by example or decide if it's even practical to have this person in your life.
It's amazing to see that when we learn how to do this for other people, it becomes reflected back to us in the ways that people hold a "safe space" for us. I believe the most beautiful learning taken away from creating space, is not only learning about how to love others without conditions but learning to love yourself in the same way.
