Night of The Living Exes

blog 25.jfif

It's that time of the year, boys and girls. The zombies are coming out of the ground. Ghosts are coming back to do their usual hauntings. It's terrifying, really. All my girls know what I'm talking about. Guys, maybe you can relate? It's that window of time that anyone you've ever had any sort of relationship or communication with comes out of the damn woodwork. It starts with one and then becomes a chain reaction.

This month has been nothing short of horrific for me. It starts with a few, "How you been?" texts, maybe some sliding into the DM's. Innocent stuff. I'm usually bored, and pretty friendly, so I entertain. One morning I woke up to find a cockroach in my apartment, and being my spiritually attuned self, I thought, Oooo that is not a Good Omen

In Latin culture, when your past relationships come back to haunt you, you call them cockroaches. Here's where things get scary. When one shows up knocking on your door, and then you find out another moved in next door to you...I realized I had a very bad infestation problem.

I'm out here trying to live MY BEST LIFE, and I realize I have all this energy around me blocking me from moving TF on with my life. So, in true Jen fashion I thought, how might I be the cause of this? Well for starters. You can't let one cockroach in without expecting others to follow. 

When this batch rolls in, there are always some I am happy to see made their way back. I put energy into thinking THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT. Then guess what? THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED. It's a movie you've watched over and over. You know the ending but yet somehow you are still surprised. It's a terrible loop. Then I have others sending me texts and messages that I think hmm what's the harm in chatting. Until the conversation shifts to them thinking they have some sort of claim on me because they've liked me for so long, or they've waited for so long. Then I get mad

You see, at some point or another. These people had their opportunities and didn't take them.  While it's always an ego boost to see someone come back saying "They've made a horrible mistake". Yeah, ya did. It also opens up that door to the dead, and honestly, that door should be left closed. 

I realized this. Me holding on and keeping the door cracked for these roaches to get in is just a reflection of my fear of the unknown. It's so much easier for me to go watch that movie over and over again than to find a new one that I don't know the ending to. It's easier to control and entertain, that which we know or have known than to actually move forward with our lives into what we've never known. But why? By trusting in what's ahead of us, vs constantly looking back we give ourselves the opportunity to manifest something truly spectacular into our lives. Beyond our imagination

My wake up call literally came knocking on my door, for me to realize it's time to Raid all you motherf*ers. Sometimes in order to feel safe and protected we anchor ourselves to the past, and by anchoring, we give people the opportunity to weigh us down. You have the power to pull up that anchor. You have the power to cut that cord. Sometimes, you have to stand in your power and decide it's time to set sail, and anyone who missed the boat probably didn't deserve to be on board anyway.    

 

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Planting the Seeds, Healing the Collective