2019: The Year of No More Disappointments.
Welcome to 2019! how's everyone doing so far? Still, basking in the freshness of this new motivating energy? Ready to tackle a new year? Grow a little bit more. Move further away from the things we chose to finally leave behind back in 2018? It seems as a collective, 2018 was a big year for growth and transitions. No longer giving energy towards that which doesn't serve you and really moving towards finding that long term sustainable happiness. If you're late to the game, worry not, it's never too late to start on your pursuit of happiness.
We are in that window of time where parking spots at the gym become harder to come by, and our workouts are filled with many fresh new faces hoping to implement new activities into their routines. By the time February rolls around the crowd thins out and life sort of teeters back to that previous state of comfort. Perhaps, it is the pressure of having to completely uproot and change your life as the clock strikes midnight. Or, it's the self-sabotaging fear of disappointment that holds us back from sticking to our resolutions and reaching our maximum potential.
Whether it's a New Years Resolution or something that's been on your list of things to do for a while, make today the day that you stop blocking yourself from what it is you truly want. Have you been wanting to start a blog? Maybe write a book? Maybe start a side gig? What's stopping you? What is the reason you are saying one day instead of today? Think about it. There are so many excuses we can make and so many ways in which we sabotage ourselves, but today I feel like talking about that pesky fear of being disappointed. Mainly, because it's one of the things I have decided not to bring into 2019.
Detach From Your Emotions
For the longest time, I could never understand this concept. Being a highly emotional person, in the sense that my passion and emotions are what drive me, I never understood how I could be passionate, give something my all, and then remove my emotions from the equation. I heard this the most while I was playing golf. At the risk of sounding dramatic, (which, I am) I would put all of my heart into this area of my life, which is what made my disappointments all the more soul-crushing. When you have your heart broken so many times, you build up a wall. It's your internal defense system. Instead of being shocked and hurt by the disappointment, you just learn to expect it. Makes it easier right? Well, wrong. In building this fortress of "protection", you actually begin to pass up on opportunities for success because you are stuck being attached to some emotion from a past situation that you are bringing into the present. This shot right here is not the same shot I may have missed in the past. The relationship you are contemplating with this new person is not going to be the same as the one you had with a completely different person. You must detach yourself from this emotion that stems from past situations. Past Fears. There is no reason for it to be present at this moment unless you bring it there. It manifests in all areas of your life. For me, it got to a certain point where I had to analyze, why am I constantly being disappointed? I can't say I was shocked when I concluded that I am the common denominator.
It's YOU
If you're asking yourself why the same thing keeps happening, you should know it is you. Sorry. Someone's got to say it. We are all guilty of this, so you are not alone. It's important, to be honest with yourself on how you may be sabotaging yourself. Not just in relationships, but a career, and life in general. It is so easy to resort back to what is comfortable, what is safe. Amidst building our walls that are meant to keep out disappointment, we are also blocking things that might truly bring us happiness. Not wanting to let people in, out of fear they'll let us down as all the other ones do. SO you start acting a bit colder and more detached. Not pursuing a passion, because of how awful it would feel to go for something only to fail. When we set ourselves up immediately focusing on all the ways we could be disappointed, then what generates in our lives is more disappointments. It's a self-created, vicious, cycle.
What You Focus On Grows!
I've said this in many of my posts, but it's worthy of repeats and constant reminders. If you are constantly focused on how you've been disappointed in the past, how you could potentially fail, or how you'll be let down in the future, you will create it. Our minds are very powerful. Be cautious of where it is you are directing it. Instead, try focusing on all the good that can come of it. Focus on the things about whatever it is you want that makes you happy, don't sweat the small stuff. Start focusing on all the ways things can go right, and begin to detach from those past thoughts and past hurts. Doing this alone will help you see tremendous shifts throughout your life.
Life is easy if we decide to let it be, you just have to learn to be selective of your thoughts. Emotions are not what we should be afraid of, it's our inability to express an emotion that keeps us trapped reliving the past, and past traumas/heartbreak. So, if you are cutting cords this new year, go ahead and decide to separate yourself from the emotions and failures of the past. It is a new year after all, and tomorrow is a new day. When you finally do decide to let that wall down, you might be surprised to find all the things that have been dying to get inside.
