Go With the Flow
For as long as I can remember I’ve carried around a little green surfboard that I’ve taken with me from apartment to apartment, and it has journeyed with me to all the different cities I have lived in. It’s stays propped up in the corner of my room with the words “Go With the Flow” printed on it. It serves as a constant reminder of how to live my life and a remembrance of how I have flowed into where I am now.
Whatever you are doing or wherever you are at in life, I believe it is so easy to get caught up in what’s next, where am I going to be a year from now, what do I want my future to look like, hell, you might even be sitting at your desk trying to figure out what your weekend is going to be like. We are all guilty of this, but sometimes it’s important to realize and remember to take a step back and be in the present moment wherever that is and whatever is happening there.
The truth is you don’t know where you’ll be in the future and sometimes the visions we create in our head aren’t half as good as what the universe has in store for us. Like I said in my last post, you have to release attachment. You could be so fixated on one thing, a relationship, a timeline, a certain type of job, that you are shutting yourself off to millions of possibilities that could be out there for you.
Going with the flow has never come easy to me. It is something I have had to put a lot of time and effort into. It sounds contradictory, but it is something that you have to practice. I think that as a golfer, or any type of athlete who is looking to achieve results, you develop a sort of self-awareness that forces you to be introspective. What can I clean up mentally to make me a better player? What can I change so that I show up to the course more mentally prepared?
My first year on tour my mantra was “control the controllables”. We can sometimes get so desperately wrapped up in controlling our surroundings that in the process of trying to control those things around us we lose control of ourselves. This was a huge lesson for me. There are so many intangible things happening in this world that whether you believe it or not we really have no control over. A huge shift for me was realizing that all I can really control is myself and my thoughts.
I practice letting go of attachment throughout my personal life. Breaking it down to, ok what is the thought behind this attachment, where does this stem from? When we break it down to little pieces it becomes much more manageable. It has taken 4 years and a significant amount of time off for everything I’ve put to practice to finally click.
I have suffered from a serious attachment to results and outcomes, that I have forgotten what its like to just GO WITH THE FLOW. Last year, I was spending 10 hours a day dedicated to practicing and bettering myself. I was on such a strict regimen that I was unknowingly putting a crazy amount of pressure on myself. This translated on the golf course when things wouldn’t be going as planned and I would have these emotional outbursts of frustration. Instead of just accepting what was, I was wasting time and energy being upset that things weren’t going my way. Each day was a constant mental battle of trying to let go of the previous shot and stay in the moment. It was exhausting and ultimately culminated in me needing to take time off to gather my thoughts. After taking well over a month off from golf, I played 18 holes and shot an easy -3 round. Why? Because I had ABSOLUTELY no expectations. When I hit a bad shot, I just kept going. I had been telling myself for so long to just go with the flow but it never really clicked, until it did. Now I play golf and I actually have fun, because, like life, it’s not about getting to the end result its about the JOURNEY.
My ultimate love for this sport comes from the fact that it can mirror life in so many ways. You could go out and play one day and have a number in your head. “Oh if I shoot even par today I will be so happy.” Even though it may seem like a positive thought, thats actually a limiting belief. Try to notice how you do this in all aspects of your life.
-“By the time I’m this age I would like to be at this company, doing this type of work”
-“I just want to make 300,000 a year, and I’d be happy.”
You are limiting yourself to these narrow beliefs, instead of being open to the flow of life and accepting that maybe theres a bigger and better plan waiting for you out there but you aren’t even listening to the signs.
So whatever it is you are attached to, try to practice going with the flow. I see it so often with people and relationships and even catch myself having limiting thoughts. Putting an attachment on a certain person and spending so much time trying to make them into the right person, when the person meant for you is out there and could be so much better suited for you, but you just have to allow yourself to have an open mind.
Putting this to practice never ends, but the more it starts coming naturally to you, the more life truly becomes a fun adventure. SO what are my mantras now? Flowing from moment to moment. Enjoying what comes and appreciating what goes. Enjoying the highs, and learning to love the lows. Letting go of attachments to moments and people and just allowing life to surprise you.
