Capricorn Lunar Eclipse: Reconnecting with My Past Self.

Last night I had a dream...

I had flown to San Francisco in order to visit some cliffs an hour outside of the city. As I came upon them, there was this all too familiar feeling. I had been here before. I knew the unexpected twists and turns of the road. I knew exactly where I was headed and what I would see when I arrived. I was back. It was this overwhelming feeling that the purpose of my trip was fulfilled, to come back to this exact spot. Back to these cliffs that overlooked a vast beautiful ocean. If only for a second before I move forward onto my next adventure.

Before I settled into bed last night and began to traverse my expansive dream world, I was thinking about this upcoming Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn, and I was prompted with the question, “What have you mastered in the last two years?”

The question would go unanswered, only to be revisited when I woke up this morning. “What have you mastered in the last two years?”

Curiously, I woke up from my dream only to look at my Facebook memories and see that two years ago I just so happened to be in San Francisco on this exact date….

Coincidence? I think not. 

Having a total of six Capricorn placements in my chart, you can imagine that this Full Moon is anything but a gentle experience for me at the moment. As a collective, we are forced to evaluate the thoughts and connections in our lives that no longer serve our higher purpose. We are forced to evaluate where we are on our path to success and in which ways have we allowed ourselves to fall behind?

It forces us to ask the question, “What have you done in the last 2 years?”

As someone with a heavy mix of Capricorn and Virgo, perfectionism is my downfall. My life is comprised of setting massive goals and striving to achieve them. With a belief that if I’m not pursuing some kind of dream, then I’m not living, I have a tendency to discredit all my hard work when I let off the gas or fall short of my projected timelines. 

So, asking myself what have I mastered in the last two years has the ability to send me down a self-deprecating spiral of instead asking…How have I failed myself in the last two years?

But then…I had my dream.

I’ve never visited any cliffs in San Francisco, nor am I sure they exist. In reality, anyways. BUT I received the message loud & clear. I was literally taken back to who I was two years ago on that monumental trip. 

A 26year old “retired” Professional golfer, who was just beginning to learn that she didn’t need to see herself as a failure just because she fell short on her goal. A girl who was learning to be proud of all she accomplished and the many lessons she learned on this designated path. A girl who was redefining who she had believed herself to be after 26 years of dedicating her life to a story that would no longer be told. Most importantly, It was that weekend, I realized that I had a lot of living left to do, and it was time to start writing my next chapter. 

It was literally that trip, after attending a Bob Proctor seminar, where the wheels were set in motion. So, here I am beating myself up for thinking I haven’t mastered anything in the last 2 years, feeling like I’ve failed myself, similar to how my 26-year-old self felt 2 years ago. 

And then I remember. There is no such thing as “2 years ago”. The timelines I created are just that. Timelines that I create. There is no such thing as failure. Only Movement. 

Of course, I am revisited by that past version of myself, because it was that weekend that I set the intention to be the version of myself I am RIGHT NOW. Of course, I would feel a familiarity with those cliffs and of course, I would want to go back. That’s where I leaped, and I’m preparing myself to leap again.

So, I’ll ask again, “What have I mastered in the last 2 years?”

I’ve created a business that is fully aligned in the feminine construct. I’ve destroyed timelines and external structures and now fully align myself and my business with nature, The Moon, and my own body. I’ve created an environment in which I get to lean fully into my feminine energy and The Universe gets to provide for me. Talk about an ideal relationship. My only job is to focus on my own spiritual growth and nurturing my creations in order to better provide others with the space and energy for healing. 

As 2020 has forced us to pause and purge, we find ourselves slowly moving out of patriarchal structures. The emphasis of these 9-5 routines are slowly falling away. People are waking up. We’re reconnecting with nature. With ourselves. We’re beginning to understand that to truly help the whole, we must first help ourselves become whole. 

So, as we feel all the energies of the lunar eclipse, and we decide which chapters will be coming to a close, and which are merely beginning. I welcome you to arrive at the edge of your own cliff as we journey into the new age. Many of you set the intentions long ago to arrive at this exact moment, whether consciously or unconsciously. So, it's not about asking yourself how far you've come... it's asking yourself whether or not you're ready to jump.