Taking the Plunge

Imagine for a second that you have been imprisoned. You've been stuck for enough time that you've developed an acceptance to this way of life, but one day you managed to finally escape. As you are being pursued, you come to a point where you reach a cliff, at the bottom of the cliff there is water and a clear way out of your situation. If you choose not to jump, you will be recaptured and return to being confined to your previous way of life. Which option do you choose? 

When thinking about these hypothetical situations it's so easy to make a clear choice, which would be jumping off the cliff, but really immerse yourself into this thought process and you will find the majority of people, in reality, would choose not to take the plunge and the choices you make in your life are a direct reflection of this.

Put in this scenario, I know that upon reaching the cliff I would experience some serious hesitation. My fear of falling would most likely try to overpower my need to escape a life of confinement. Sometimes, it's easier to fall back into what you know and what's seems more comfortable than diving into the unknown. 

Most of us are confronted with these decisions in everyday life and even when the choices aren't as dramatic we still choose to go with what is more comfortable, even if that means missing out on something that could truly bring you happiness.

I love this scenario because it really forces you to analyze the things that bring a hindrance to your life. It is so imperative to identify these beliefs and know when you're acting out of fear vs. a need for growth. Most people don't take the jump because they aren't sure what awaits them after the jump, they just know that once they take it there is no way of returning to the previous way of life and that can be very frightening. 

It is so easy to get stuck in these cycles of hurt and disappointment, not because we "never learn" but because in a way these patterns bring us comfort. It's so much easier to deal with the pain of losing something when you weren't all in, to begin with, rather than going all in and having a fear that you might lose it. 

We encounter these fears in all aspects of life. Whether it is your career, relationships, or finding ways to let go of thoughts and beliefs that don't serve us, and you can see them manifest into so many different forms of resistance. 

Hating your 9-5 job but not leaving it, because you're afraid to fail, afraid to be uncomfortable, or have a lack of stability. So, you endure because at least you feel secure. 

Holding on to hurt from past relationships, not because you are still affected by it, but because that pain is way more comfortable and familiar than actually making an effort to put yourself out there and risk feeling that pain all over again.  

We find so many ways to self-sabotage because it’s easy to make excuses when we never try than dealing with the disappointment of giving something you're all and not being successful or being successful and then having to deal with all the responsibilities that come along with that. 

Most of my growth in life has come from times where I have been completely out of my comfort zone. I've learned to find enjoyment in doing things that make me uncomfortable, and it is always interesting to see the fears that kick in and how we can allow them to take over. 

If you've ever read "A Course in Miracles", it says that all that exists in the world is LOVE. Fear does not exist. It only exists in our minds as a projection of our egos. Fear is not real. It only seems real because we've allowed it to exist in our minds. Throughout all these philosophical studies the ego has gotten a pretty villainous reputation, which is accurate if you let yourself be controlled by it, but you also have to understand its true purpose and then learn how to work with it. 

Yes, the ego is terrified of change, it is programmed to help us survive so anytime we threaten it with something unfamiliar of course its instincts will kick in. It's just learning how to identify a rational fear vs. an irrational one. 

After my first year of college at USF, I was forced to make a very quick decision. I had my golf scholarship taken away, so I had planned on staying in school and getting a part-time job, but then an opportunity to go transfer to a school in NYC on a Full Scholarship presented itself and I was basically given a week to decide. Of course, there were so many things to fear and I knew it was going to take a serious effort on my part to change my lifestyle on such short notice, so naturally, I was leaning towards staying where I was. So many people advised me against going, but at some point, I had such a strong pull that I knew I had to go and within two weeks we had packed my stuff up and moved there. 

This was one of the moments in my life where I think I felt the most fear, but looking back it was probably the best decision I had ever made. When I start feeling these irrational fears, I look back on moments like this and try to find comfort in knowing that, when you go all in, you never lose. You either win, or you grow. My transition was by no means easy, but by pushing through all those fears I grew as tremendously as a person. 

I've learned that most of these experiences we go through in life that cause us to be uncomfortable or bring us heartbreak can be a catalyst for major growth and opportunity in life if you just learn to push ahead instead of going back to what's comfortable. I wouldn't spare myself of any experience no matter how painful it was, because they also brought me moments of extreme joy. 

I'd like to think that with my knowledge of all this, that after the moment of hesitation I would jump because I've learned that the fall is easy, it's deciding to jump that is the hard part. Learning to let go of the resistance and anticipation of the consequences, and just doing. You have to learn how to say yes, instead of looking to make excuses for why you shouldn't, because then you deprive yourself of so many experiences that can bring you happiness and growth. It's all about unblocking these hindrances we set for ourselves and remembering that sometimes when we are so close to getting the things we want is when they seem the furthest away. 

---

Finding Connections

Hi Friends,

I hope everyone is enjoying the first week of Spring! The Spring Equinox symbolizes a time for new beginnings. Along with earth and nature, we enter new cycles of our lives. Think of how trees shed their leaves in the fall only to grow back again in the spring greener and brighter, we have the ability to do the same shedding those old beliefs that no longer serve us as we grow into new ones. What are you letting go of? What new phases are you entering into?

I have always believed it is so important to be connected to the seasons, and moon cycles, or knowing where the planets are located. I'm aware people are skeptical when it comes to these things, but the reality is that all of this stuff has a direct influence over the earth and since we are a part of nature then it's safe to say these externals are impacting us whether we are aware or not. 

It's good to flow with nature, not only to feel more connected to the flow of life but also to better connect internally with that higher wisdom inside of you. 

In my last post, I wrote about breaking patterns and learning when to recognize when you are stuck in one. Sometimes, when we aren't connected it's hard to really listen to the signs that you have been given or know when it's time to change and enter a new cycle.

I have always tried to practice listening throughout all facets of my life. Thanks to golf, I got into practicing meditation at a young age and throughout my career learned techniques on how to recognize when I am out of the moment and how to quickly get back in it. You can achieve this by simply focusing on your breathe, or one of my favorite thing to do on the golf course when I get out of the moment, is to touch the grass and I would focus on the sensations I felt from that interaction with the earth. It was always in these moments of connectedness that I could think the clearest and perform the best.      

Sometimes we ask The Universe, God, or whatever higher power you associate with, for help and because we are so disconnected we ignore the signs that are right in front of us. We fail to change because it's a lot easier to externalize our pain and blame others than to look inward and see how we may be contributing to the problem. 

Today in yoga, the teacher kept repeating a quote that really resonated with me, " The opposite of depression is not happiness, it's engagement." In life, I feel a lot of people have a desire to feel connected. Whether it's through friendships or relationships, but they are afraid to engage out of fear of "getting hurt", but in the end, you are not only hurting yourself but also causing those feelings of isolation and depression by depriving yourself of loving experiences. 

I believe that deep down that everyone craves a sense of unity and connectedness, but instead of taking the time to really nurture these connections everyone is looking for quick fixes. Alcohol, food, sex, the list goes on. You might briefly feel that feeling of connection, but just as quickly as you rushed into it, chances are it will leave just as quickly. 

In my life learnings, I have always struggled with wanting the control of getting what I want, when I want. Life definitely does not work like that, and out of a lot of frustration I have learned to let go and try to let life surprise me. It's funny how sometimes the things we want in life have always been there it just takes time for us to grow into them. You just have to learn to be patient. 

A lot of my letting go has been from learning to generate my own love and happiness. When I want that feeling of connection, I go on a walk, or go to yoga, of course, I like to connect with other people but it can be unfair and emotionally draining to others when we look to them to fill the parts where we are lacking. There is so much love in this world that when you learn to see little moments as acts of love, you are honestly never lacking, and once you learn to generate that on your own it becomes infinite. 

We can get so caught up in protecting ourselves from feeling hurt and pain, or people that want to drain your energy that we bottle it all up, but like all balance in life you have to let these emotions flow. It's cliche but, but oh so true, "Gotta give love, to get love." By accepting the fact that your source of love is truly infinite, you let go of the fear of giving it away, because once you truly can create your own and give it freely you will see how it returns to you and you honestly never know when your act of love no matter how small it is, impacts the other person. 

In the last few weeks, I have really been able to recognize these extremely loving moments, big or small, only cause I've opened up and allowed myself to be connected. Not necessarily to a particular idea, but having an open mind and watching how things flow. It's really beautiful when you let go, and start to realize how the right messages and the right people come into your life at the right times. 

So remember to always go with the seasons. Learn to flow, and trust that some things aren't meant to be rushed because sometimes the strongest connections are only made stronger over time.   

---

Embracing the Emotions

March is such a wonderful time of the year. Everything starts warming up, spring is on its way. The seeds we planted back in September have germinated and are finally starting to bloom. Just like the seasons we too begin to grow and blossom from intentions and ideas we planted back in the fall and then nurtured throughout the winter.

One of the beautiful things about journaling is that you can temporarily jump back in time and remember what it was you were going through at any moment in the past. Sometimes, I have a nice little laugh when something that in hindsight was so trivial at the time seemed to give me so much grief. Other times, in this case, I'm able to look back and see how the things I set out to do have unfolded. Old goals, but new understandings. We can get so desperate for these instant results that we forget sometimes these thoughts and behaviors are like seeds we have to water and feed so that one day they can grow into something beautiful.

I went into last fall with a list of improvements I wanted to make. The main task on this list was to get a better grip on my emotions. One thing I've learned to be true in all the mysteries of the Universe is, "Ask and you shall receive". In the beliefs I have held throughout my life, I have experienced that in the moments where we completely surrender to whatever power is greater than us, it delivers. It doesn't necessarily present itself in the ways we want, but more so it delivers in the ways we need.

When it comes to golf, I have always battled a "nasty" temper. I've seen tons of mental coaches, read all the books, and studied all the methods. They all pretty much say the same things. Let it go. Move on to the next shot. Don't get angry. Relax. I spent so much time trying to learn how to suppress this part of myself that I never truly realized the real power came from embracing it.

There would be times on the course where I would get angry and then I would get angry at myself just for being angry. It was a self-deprecating cycle that, yes, would ultimately take me out of the moment and cost me a lot of shots. Then, there were times where I would be angry and I'd play the best golf of my life. I'm talking back-back-back birdies and rounds of 29 on 9 holes. Why did this anger work in my favor and the other didn't? Well, probably because instead of wasting my energy trying to suppress those emotions, I, in that moment of time, embraced them.

If you would have asked me to answer that question back in September, I wouldn't have had an explanation for you. I didn't understand it like I do now. My whole life I've tried to learn how to control my emotions and failed. By trying so hard to control and suppress, I was subconsciously creating a fear, which in turn allowed my emotions to control me.

As I've mentioned so many times, the issues we face on the golf course almost always mirror the problems we encounter in daily life. I was raised by two of the most logical, unemotional people who just so happened to have a child who is imaginative and to their standards, hyper-emotional.

Funny, how things work out.

Most of my emotional outbursts growing up were met with a lack of understanding, uneasiness, or being told I was "Dramatic". So, naturally, I was trained to expect these types of responses whenever I wanted to display emotions. I learned to suppress these emotions very well, but they never really went away, they just transformed into something else. Anger.

When I felt sad or hurt, I wouldn't express this emotion. I'd lash out and my emotion of choice. Anger.

Disappointment would come out as...you guessed it. Anger.

After 26 years, I'm so thankful to have a mother who has taken the time to understand and accept who I am. Now, instead of using terms like "Dramatic" we use words like, "Passionate" and "Romanticist". Because that's what emotions are, our ability to have a deeper connection to life and the people around us. Our emotions allow us to fall in love, not only with other people but most importantly ourselves.

I smile because after remembering the intentions I set back in the fall, I feel a great sense of joy knowing that I have gotten a better grip on my emotions, only because I've loosened the grip altogether. Now, when I feel sad and want to cry, I cry. It's in releasing that emotion that we truly allow ourselves to heal. If someone hurts me, I tell them by expressing my feelings and communicating. I no longer feel the need to argue or yell at someone in order to get my point across.

The times I played my best golf were the times I took what I was feeling in that moment and USED IT. After many learning experiences in the last few months, I've finally come to terms with my emotions. I love them. They make me, me. I no longer hide from them. I feel them, and then I USE THEM. In doing this, I finally have the control I have so desperately longed for.

It's common to hear people say,

"How can others love you, if you don't love yourself?"

Well, the same is true when it comes to dealing with emotions. Society teaches us that feelings are bad, this is so false. If you can't embrace your own emotions and feelings, how do you accept someone else to want to accept them?

Collectively as a whole I believe a lot of people need to hear this, and If my realizations are able to help at least one other person, I will be satisfied. So, my final message comes from an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote back in October:

"If I can accept the chaos in other people then I have to trust there are people out there who accept the chaos in me."

I don't know If I believed that then, but I do now. We are so quick to accept flaws in those we love, but not in ourselves. The moments you stop seeing them as flaws and learn to embrace the qualities unique to you is when we can really start growing and healing as a whole and allowing more love into our life. <3

---

Breaking Patterns

Wow, has 2018 been a year of transformation so far or what? Maybe that's just me. Coming into the year I learned a lot about doing things for me and learning that not everyone has my best intentions. Some people have you in their life for convenience and it's so important to recognize that and know when you should act in your own self-interest instead of constantly bending over backwards for people who would not do the same for you.

It's funny, I've always been told I tend to focus on the good in people and while that's a great quality it's often what gets me in trouble. Letting people use and abuse you emotionally far longer than they should because you don't want to step on anyone’s toes. We get stuck in these loops, be it relationships, friendships, or even life experiences and we create these beliefs that we continue to bring from the past into future situations and we create this vicious never-ending circle until we finally find the strength to break the pattern.

I remember I went through a string of five tournaments where I would always start my first round bogey, bogey, double, and I would have to fight my way back each time. After the second time it happened I created a belief, a fear. Each time I teed up for my first round I would focus so hard on just making par. I'd be so in my head about not starting with a bogey that normally that's exactly what would happen and then I'd think..."Here we go again" and guess what? That's exactly what would happen. I was so caught up in this loop that I didn't realize it was completely self-created.

Later on in my career, I learned that my last round has no correlation to this present round. The golf ball doesn't remember what happened yesterday. Just because I missed a 10 footer on the last hole doesn't mean I'm going to miss every ten-footer. It's how I react that is going to influence whether or not I repeat the same mistakes as before or not. Which is why it's so important to remember not to bring past beliefs into current situations. It's a completely new moment, a completely new experience.

As in my experiences with golf, so I have learned in life. It is so crucial to see when a pattern is occurring and learn when it's time to release something that is no longer serving you. I've always said that life is like a plane ride. We are going from one destination to another, there's a path but sometimes when we get off course we need turbulence to jolt us back onto the correct stream. It's up to you how rough you let the turbulence get. I don't know about you guys, but I am NOT a fan of bumpy rides.

I get massive anxiety attacks on airplanes during turbulence and I always chant to myself, "You're safe, you're just uncomfortable, it will be over soon." Anytime we go through a period of growth, it can be very uncomfortable. It is by no means easy to change behaviors and break old habits, but just like turbulence you have to remember it will be over soon and you will get to that smoother air.

Starting off the year, I hit some pretty rough bumps. I came to the realization that no matter what you do for some people they will always be out for themselves and instead of seeing the good and being grateful, they are always going to demand more from you. Instead of having the self-respect for myself to walk away from these situations and people, I stayed and continued to try and change myself to make them more comfortable when at the end of the day nothing will ever be good enough for that person. I eventually got tired of people treating me like shit and then either blaming me or making excuses for their behavior only to come back into my life and do it again.

Now, here is the thing. The blame is 100% on me for allowing this to continuously happen. When I realized this and started saying, I'm going to do me and if anyone has an issue with this, then by all means evaluate why you feel this way (or don't) but I am done changing myself for other people. So either you want me in your life or you don't. That simple. It's funny how when you switch it up and start treating people the way they treat you, you become villainized. Interesting.

Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Sometimes we realize looking back that we didn't have to go through so much rough air in order to get to a destination, but we are also human and we make mistakes, and sometimes we have to grow through pain and learning to break unhealthy habits. I've learned that sometimes it's better not to react to situations, just let them play out and let what comes, come and what goes, go. Just observe and then if you feel the need it is important to EXPRESS, however you feel the need to, making sure it's in a non-hurtful way. So whatever story you are telling yourself or whatever loop you might be stuck in. Try to recognize it, and try to break the thought pattern, by doing so you are allowing the things you actually want to flow into your life. MOST IMPORTANTLY, have COMPASSION for those who cause you hurt, because chances are they are stuck in their own loops and may not even really be aware of it. All we can truly hope for is that by breaking out of our own behavioral patterns it helps heal other people from theirs.

---

Go With the Flow

For as long as I can remember I’ve carried around a little green surfboard that I’ve taken with me from apartment to apartment, and it has journeyed with me to all the different cities I have lived in. It’s stays propped up in the corner of my room with the words “Go With the Flow” printed on it. It serves as a constant reminder of how to live my life and a remembrance of how I have flowed into where I am now.

Whatever you are doing or wherever you are at in life, I believe it is so easy to get caught up in what’s next, where am I going to be a year from now, what do I want my future to look like, hell, you might even be sitting at your desk trying to figure out what your weekend is going to be like. We are all guilty of this, but sometimes it’s important to realize and remember to take a step back and be in the present moment wherever that is and whatever is happening there.

The truth is you don’t know where you’ll be in the future and sometimes the visions we create in our head aren’t half as good as what the universe has in store for us. Like I said in my last post, you have to release attachment. You could be so fixated on one thing, a relationship, a timeline, a certain type of job, that you are shutting yourself off to millions of possibilities that could be out there for you.

Going with the flow has never come easy to me. It is something I have had to put a lot of time and effort into. It sounds contradictory, but it is something that you have to practice. I think that as a golfer, or any type of athlete who is looking to achieve results, you develop a sort of self-awareness that forces you to be introspective. What can I clean up mentally to make me a better player? What can I change so that I show up to the course more mentally prepared?

My first year on tour my mantra was “control the controllables”. We can sometimes get so desperately wrapped up in controlling our surroundings that in the process of trying to control those things around us we lose control of ourselves. This was a huge lesson for me. There are so many intangible things happening in this world that whether you believe it or not we really have no control over. A huge shift for me was realizing that all I can really control is myself and my thoughts.

I practice letting go of attachment throughout my personal life. Breaking it down to, ok what is the thought behind this attachment, where does this stem from? When we break it down to little pieces it becomes much more manageable. It has taken 4 years and a significant amount of time off for everything I’ve put to practice to finally click.

I have suffered from a serious attachment to results and outcomes, that I have forgotten what its like to just GO WITH THE FLOW. Last year, I was spending 10 hours a day dedicated to practicing and bettering myself. I was on such a strict regimen that I was unknowingly putting a crazy amount of pressure on myself. This translated on the golf course when things wouldn’t be going as planned and I would have these emotional outbursts of frustration. Instead of just accepting what was, I was wasting time and energy being upset that things weren’t going my way. Each day was a constant mental battle of trying to let go of the previous shot and stay in the moment. It was exhausting and ultimately culminated in me needing to take time off to gather my thoughts. After taking well over a month off from golf, I played 18 holes and shot an easy -3 round. Why? Because I had ABSOLUTELY no expectations. When I hit a bad shot, I just kept going. I had been telling myself for so long to just go with the flow but it never really clicked, until it did. Now I play golf and I actually have fun, because, like life, it’s not about getting to the end result its about the JOURNEY.

My ultimate love for this sport comes from the fact that it can mirror life in so many ways. You could go out and play one day and have a number in your head. “Oh if I shoot even par today I will be so happy.” Even though it may seem like a positive thought, thats actually a limiting belief. Try to notice how you do this in all aspects of your life.

-“By the time I’m this age I would like to be at this company, doing this type of work”

-“I just want to make 300,000 a year, and I’d be happy.”

You are limiting yourself to these narrow beliefs, instead of being open to the flow of life and accepting that maybe theres a bigger and better plan waiting for you out there but you aren’t even listening to the signs.

So whatever it is you are attached to, try to practice going with the flow. I see it so often with people and relationships and even catch myself having limiting thoughts. Putting an attachment on a certain person and spending so much time trying to make them into the right person, when the person meant for you is out there and could be so much better suited for you, but you just have to allow yourself to have an open mind.

Putting this to practice never ends, but the more it starts coming naturally to you, the more life truly becomes a fun adventure. SO what are my mantras now? Flowing from moment to moment. Enjoying what comes and appreciating what goes. Enjoying the highs, and learning to love the lows. Letting go of attachments to moments and people and just allowing life to surprise you.

---

Lessons in Letting Go

Most of you reading this probably identify me as a golfer or maybe just some golf girl you follow on social media. This is true, I am that girl, but I am also infinitely more than just a girl who golfs. I consider golf to be the vehicle currently taking me through life. It teaches me more than I could ever imagine and has taken me many places, but that’s all it is, something that is taking me from one point to the next.

The majority of my life in golf has been learning to separate Jennifer the “Golfer”, from Jennifer the “Person”. At times I still struggle to differentiate the two and unfortunately it’s those attachments we create in life that cause us the most pain. I’m sure I am not alone when it comes to athletes experiencing the fear of, “who am I without this sport?”

It’s the whole dilemma of caring, but not caring. Giving something you’re all, but not letting it define you. Mastering this I believe is the key to finding happiness.

It’s not just sports-related. The same goes for relationships. You have to let go of attachments and just be in the present. I dated a guy that always used to tell me, “you’re either a blessing or a lesson”. He’d say it so nonchalantly and at the time I didn’t really grasp what he was trying to say, but after breaking my heart, and spending so much time wondering how he could do that to ME? I realized what he meant. He didn’t hurt me, I hurt myself. He was already setting himself up for reality. It wasn’t one or the other. It was both. Unlike me, he hadn’t put attachments to the relationship. He enjoyed it for what it was and realized that like anything in life it could have an expiration date. So enjoy it while you’ve got it and when it’s time to let go, just appreciate it for what it was. There is a lot of beauty in that and transference to other facets of life.

It’s taken me until this year to realize that all the hurt and heartbreak in my life has been self-created. I’ve always created timelines for myself. By the time I’m 26, I’ll have won this tournament, I’ll be here doing this, I’ll be making xxxx amount of money, and each time something doesn’t happen according to plan I’ll let myself down. Trust me, nothing hurts more than disappointing yourself. You can’t escape you, no matter how hard you try.

Then it clicked, I don’t have to keep disappointing myself. Not if I let go of my expectations.

I took a yoga class a few months back where the teacher said “don’t worry how you look today, you can’t change that in a day, accept who you are on this day and just BE.” THIS resonated with me on so many levels. When it comes to golf, or whatever you choose to relate this to, you have to know there will be some days that are worse than others. Just because I shoot a high score one day it doesn’t define me as a bad golfer. We are allowed to make mistakes, we are allowed to not be perfect. It’s in those flaws that we learn to grow and become who we are destined to be.

I spend so much time being upset and disappointed that I’m not where I want to be, but maybe I’m exactly where I need to be. It’s just those attachments and emotions that I have used to back those thoughts with that keep me from realizing the truth.

If you are in a similar situation in life, or perhaps a relationship, or going through a breakup, try detaching yourself from the situation. Look at it as an outsider. What are your thoughts and feelings, why do you have them? What’s the blessing and what’s the lesson? Observe, understand, and try to let go.

If I have a putt for birdie, I read the green, I line it up, take my practice swing, and after I do everything in my power to make sure the ball goes in the hole. I take a deep breath and remind myself it’s just a putt and it’s just a game. If it goes in it goes in, if not we move on to the next hole.

---

What do I know?

People always say, “write about what you know”, well at the young age of 26 most could argue that I don’t know much, and they would most likely be right.

I do not claim to be well versed in the matters of love. I could sit here and say I know about heart-break, and while I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaking experiences I realize they have more to do with failed realizations rather than relationships.

I wake up every day and try to find my why? What will I accomplish today that’s going to make me a little bit better tomorrow? What is this all for?

If it answers you’re looking for, I don’t have them. I’m still trying to find them myself.

What I do know about is life, life from my perspective. It’s the only thing in this crazy enigma of a world that we all have control over. Perception. My reality isn’t your reality, they may cross over at times and we may make a cameo appearance in someone else’s life, but it doesn’t give us control.

So when I say I speak from what I know, it’s exactly what I’m doing. Speaking from only what I know and that’s who I am and what my experiences on this great journey have been thus far.

I don’t have the answers to what the meaning of life is, I have my own thoughts and ideas.

I can’t tell you how to be successful, I can only share with you the ways I try to reach my goals.

I’m no love doctor, but when it comes to loving life, the process, and the journey, this I CAN tell you about, through my own personal narrative of growth.

For those who say twenty-six is still very young (well, thank you!) I don’t disagree with you. I find excitement in looking back on the first quarter of my life and seeing how much I’ve already done, all the places I’ve been, people I’ve met, and events that have molded me into who I am now. Then I think of all the things in life that I still want to do. The places I’ll go and the people I will meet. If my first 25 years are a reflection of the next 25, I’d say that sets up for a damn good trajectory.

So here it is, my diary and my love letter to life.

A compilation of my past, present, and future. The good, the great, and the heartbreak. I can only hope that in sharing my truth you may be inspired to live yours and through my experiences of love and happiness, I hope to give you more of a perspective on what those concepts might mean to you.

-J

---