All You Need Is Love

I’ve been getting so much love this past week, so I figured I’d make this post all about the subject of Love. Is there really a better topic? Or a better reason for us to be here on this planet? I think not. Love, my friends, is the answer. 

Walking down the street, flashing a smile and saying hello to a stranger.

Taking the time to ask someone how there day is going.

Expressing gratitude and appreciation to those who help us. Whether the task is big or small. Whether it’s a loved one or a stranger.

These are all examples of small meaningful moments that you might think have no impact, but it’s in these small exchanges of loving and positive energy that we are able to raise our own vibration. 

Some people mistake the idea of love as merely an exchange between two people romantically involved, but lessening such a grand concept down to something so shallow really strips away it’s true power. You’ve heard that old cliché so many times, “In order to get love, we must give love”, but do you really understand what that means?

What energy have you been putting out into The Universe? If you’re focus on the feeling of hatred or how much you dislike someone, chances are that negativity is manifesting it’s way back into your life. In the past when I used to feel anger towards someone (and even sometimes now *Deep Breaths* ) I realized how exhausting it was to have that hate in my heart. It takes so much energy to have that much resentment for someone, and that energy can consume you….and let me tell you, that person…probably unaffected. Hell, that energy you’re sending is probably helping propel them to greatness. What you focus on grows. Its the law of attraction 101. 

As I’ve gotten older and wiser, I have learned how valuable and precious my energy is. I’ve learned how to maximize, build, and elevate my vibes. Which means steering clear of thoughts and emotions that do not serve me. Don’t get me wrong shit still pisses me off, and I’ll probably have no issue making you aware that I’m upset. That’s just who I am. But, after I’ve expressed myself, I summon my Zen Jen qualities and immediately detach myself from giving any more energy to situations that no longer serve me. Then, in the instances that I feel extra upset with someone or like, I can’t move past those feelings I do this really radical exercise where I send tons and tons of love. Chances are if someone has acted towards you out of negativity, it’s because they are in need of healing. So send those good vibes. Because I’m gonna tell you my essentials for stretching and maximizing your own energy. 

ALL THAT REALLY EXISTS IS LOVE

Jealousy, Fear, Hate. It’s all fake news people. It’s self created in you’re own mind. It exists because you have chosen to allow it to exist. It’s no secret that we currently live in an ego driven society. People living in survival mode and scarcity beliefs. When we shift our perspectives to one of gratitude we start to allow more love energy into our lives. There is so much beauty in the world and we are constantly surrounded by these small moments reminding us to be happy and grateful, all we have to do is pay attention. This morning I went for a walk and in the murky river water, I saw a dolphin. What a beautiful little gift from the universe sending me my daily reminder of how loved I am. In that moment I was so overwhelmed with gratitude and joy to be able to experience that moment that I decided to share my newly acquired energy and say hello and greet the strangers I passed on my walk. My only hope is that by me passing on my energy, others might be able to experience the same wonderful start to their day that I had. 

Know the difference in energy you are putting out

You can never be depleted when the energy you put out comes from a vibration of love. Positive vibes can only multiply. Haven’t you noticed when you truly do something for someone and it comes from a place of love, you are normally met with the same. This is a transference of energy. It’s building energy. It’s so important to be aware when the energy you are giving is not coming from that pure state. Are you giving in hopes of getting back? Is what you’re giving out coming from a place of fear or need for approval? Whether people believe in the concept of “energy” or not, theres no denying the ability to feel when someone is being disingenuous. This is when people struggle with energetic imbalances. 

Learn to be your own source of energy  

If by now you’re all aboard the “energy” train, then you know that the entire world is just one massive force of energy. So creating your own is actually pretty simple. Have you ever rubbed your hands together and then pulled them apart? Chances are you feel them heat up and then feel a strong pull between the two. Bam! That's energy. Created by…you. Easy, right? So, when we master this, we stop looking to other people to fill our energetic cups. So many romantic relationships suffer due to this imbalance. Someone looking to another in order to make them happy, and feeling low when the other can’t deliver. Noooo. Make yourself happy first! This is not a step that you should skip. Imagine how amazing a relationship could be with two people who know how to make themselves happy and then in turn make each other happy? Think of all the positive vibes you’re building there! Life doesn’t have to be a struggle. Love and Relationships don’t have to be tumultuous. You’ve only created that belief in your mind. When we learn to give ourselves love and realize that everything is source, then we make it easier to spread love to others. 

So yes, at the end of the day love is the answer for everything.

If you’re feeling upset. Send love to whoever or whatever made you feel upset. Then send love to yourself.

If you feel those irrational fears creeping in, remember that fear is just a figment of the imagination and when you detach from those fears all thats left is love. 

If you’re having a bad day, remind yourself of all you have to be grateful for and then push yourself to give out a little extra love that day. You’ll see there are plenty of people willing to give it back.

Love is infinite, and as long as you’re looking you can find it anywhere you go. Whether it’s in the form of gratitude, nature, loved ones, or even strangers. Collect that shit. Then spread it around cause we can all benefit from a little extra love in our lives. <3

---

How to be in the moment...even when the moment sucks

Wow! Does anyone else feel like July flew by? I feel like I blinked my eyes and it was gone. For those of you who have followed along on Instagram, you are probably aware I spent most of the month traveling. Los Angeles-San Francisco-To being all over France. It was a whirlwind, to say the least. While spending an activity-filled week in California, I got the call asking if I was interested in going to France, (is that even a question that needs asking?) I flew out less than a week later, which gave me little time to catch my breath and digest my previous trip before I was jumping into the next adventure. Oh, and you best believe it was an adventure. 

Part of me loves constantly being on the go, It helps make it easier to really be in the moment since you have little time to think about anything else. The other part of me craves, stability and downtime to recollect my thoughts and process through all my emotions. It's all about balance. Both for my psychical and mental health. Before getting on the plane to France, I made the commitment to maximize my time over there, it's not very often you get the opportunity to spend two weeks traveling 5star all over France. Those who know me personally know that I swear by my routines, which means eating dinner no later than 6 PM on most days and being in bed by 10 PM. Considering we wouldn't sit down for dinner until 9:30 each night and most nights we wouldn't make it to bed until 2 AM, saying I was out of my comfort zone would be an understatement. Buttt, I made a commitment, and also being in France made it MUCH easier to be uncomfortable.  

The most valuable piece of information I can give anyone planning on traveling to France is this, "Est ce que je peux avoir de l'eau, s'il vous plait". It means, "Can I have some water, please." Trust me, this is valuable knowledge considering when you sit down to eat, whether it's lunch or dinner, they're filling your glass with rosé...not water. Over there if you don't ask for it, they do NOT bring it.  It took me a week to finally learn this line and it became somewhat of a joke because every time I sat down you'd see the panic on my face trying to make sure the waitress knew to bring water to the table. "De l'eau, Water, Agua...send help" 

After a few days on the trip, I think as a whole the group decided to say Screw it, we're in France so we may as well eat and drink like the French do and save the stress for after the trip. Speaking for myself, I can definitely say I committed to that one...have you tried the croissants over there? I did. I tried a lot. Let's just say, Rosé toute la journée (Rosé all day) quickly became the motto for the trip. The trip was action-packed and nothing short of a blast, but by my last day there my body was sending out S.O.S signals, in the form of old triggers and mini emotional breakdowns. 

I don't know if it's my body withdrawing from all the wine and pastries, but coming back home I definitely realized that post-travel blues is most definitely a real thing. It feels like snapping a rubber band. The last month was like being catapulted forward at high velocity and coming back was like the aftermath where the band sort of just plummets back to where it started and you're left thinking, "Well that was fun...but, what now?" It's so easy to be in the moment when your moments are filled with tons of excitement and non-stop activities, but what about the times where things feel like they move so slow? It's easy to get caught up in reliving the past or thinking about your next move, but that means you aren't present in the now, which in turn leads you to feel that post-travel depression. So how can you learn to be in the moment, even if sometimes the moment might not be ideal? Here are some of the ways I've learned to deal with my "snapbacks"...

SURRENDER

I went to my yoga class this morning in hopes for some inspiration to get me out of my funk. Now, I love going to flow because to me flow means I do not have to hold any position for too long. Apparently, my teacher today didn't have that same understanding because we held a lot of high crescents and chair poses for 10 breath counts. Once I got past cursing out the teacher in my head and all my other aggressive thoughts, I had a nice little laugh. This was exactly what I asked for... The Universe is a funny little trickster like that. I asked for answers and it literally provided me with a lesson on how to be present even when the present feels kind of sucky. Anyone who does yoga is familiar with the process of feeling the poses and knows that the easiest way to get through the tough ones is to release the tension and thoughts surrounding the pose and just surrender to it. Breathe and feel the pain, rather than stress about the pain. The same goes for life. When we just surrender to the moment, we realize that like yoga, the pain is only temporary. When we allow ourselves to feel it and understand it, we become a step closer to mastering it and moving on from it. 

Each Moment Has Its Purpose

Whatever your basis of faith is whether it's God, or as I refer to it, The Universe, it can serve as a foundation to the thoughts you create. When it comes to my relationship with that higher power, I have a very strong trust system that helps me through even the toughest of times. No matter how difficult things may be, I trust that it is happening for a reason, maybe even serving as a way to teach me something important. The most IMPORTANT thing you can do is instead of running away from whatever is happening, be present. Find the purpose in the moment. If you are feeling bad or upset, ask yourself why? and what can YOU do to make it better? Coming back from France, I immediately jumped back into my routine. Hitting the gym and detoxing my body from all the bad stuff I put into it and really just focusing on giving myself the TLC I'd been lacking while on the road. Instead of being sad that I don't really have much going on right now, I'm focusing and how grateful I am to have the downtime to get my life and health back in order, and thanks to the trip, I now know I have a few things that I have to clean up and continue to work on in order to avoid future stressful situations. Life is all about the ebbs and flows, so when you're in an ebb learn to love it and then learn how to grow from it, cause you never know when you're going to get a call out of the blue asking if you want to fly to France at the end of the week...:p

DON'T LET THE MOMENT PASS YOU BY

It might sound a little redundant, but people, please realize that once a moment is gone, it's not coming back! I am sooo grateful that I really worked through be uncomfortable on the trip and really committed to enjoying every moment because it was one of the most incredible trips ever and I won't have another like it. Literally. I will never be able to experience those exact moments again, so thank god I enjoyed every second while it happened. Even the moments I wasn't enjoying, I was still enjoying... does that make sense? are you lost yet? It's ok to feel like shit sometimes. It's ok to think, shiiit this kinda sucks. But just like all those moments you wish would never end, you soon find out they always do. Sad but it's true. So instead of trying to rush the shitty moments. Learn to savor them, because then it makes the good ones that much sweeter. I challenge you to take advantage of each moment. Say the things you want to say and do the things you want to do, and then deal with the worry and anxiety afterward. Hell, you might just find out that the worry and anxiety...doesn't even really exist.  

*Head Exploding* 

Whaaat. This is like some inception type shit. The way to be in the moment, even the moments that suck is to just be in the moment? Yeah, let that sit and marinate for a little. Instead of telling you to think about it, I'll just say to apply it. Stop stressing. Stop thinking about your next move. Stop thinking about how much fun last week was and just start living in the now...whatever that means to you. As soon as you commit to this thought, is when you start to realize, that while we might not control our pasts or our futures, we do have control over this exact moment. So what are you choosing to do with yours?

---

Au Revoir, Éstats-Unis

Bonjour à tous!

I'm currently writing this blog post while sitting poolside, cause your girl has got to get a tan before heading off to...dun..dun..dun (drum roll please).....

France!

That's right, next week I'll be experiencing my own Tour de France, playing some of the nicest golf courses in the country and making sure to get my fill of good French wine and hopefully sneak in a few visits to some yummy pâtisseries. We have the luxury of using Private Golf Key Travel company for our latest adventure, and some of the notable courses we'll be playing are Evian Golf Resort, St. Cloud, and Le Golf National (2018 Ryder Cup course, for those who don't know), As well as visiting other famous French attractions. So, If you don't follow them you are going to want to check them out (@PrivateGolfKeyTravel), and if you are planning to make a trip over for the Ryder Cup this year, I highly suggest booking with them. Otherwise, make sure to follow along on my social media where I'll most likely be documenting every chance I get! J'ai hâte! (It means I can't wait...I think :/) 

Now, onto other pressing matters. I know a lot of people are constantly questioning. How do you have time to do all of this? Where do you get the money? You're never working? Write this down, and then when you're done reading this, do me a favor and google it. Multiple Passive Income Streams. The days of hard work and slaving away at a 9-5 are fading away, my friends. MPIS is a way of the future.

Don't get me wrong there are those people who need to be on strict schedules, love their job, and feel they enjoy that 9-5 lifestyle. Myself, personally, I've never been good with authoritative figures or schedules. So, It suits me better being my own boss. While there are those people who love that 9-5 weekly grind, there are a lot who complain. Who survive day today just to make it to the weekend and then repeat all year round until it's time to retire. 

The best is when people say to me, (Condescendingly, of course) "Man If I only had your life. You don't have to work hard, you just have it so easy."......Well then do it. Do what I do. Too which is always met with MY FAVORITE EXCUSE EVER! "I just don't have the time."  

Last time I check we all have the same 24 hours. We all have the same hours in a day as Beyonce, who's heard that one before! If you really want something you're going to make sacrifices. Otherwise, they are just excuses. Tough Love, but someone's got to say it. 

Yes, my life is easy. My life is effing awesome! But, that's because those are my belief statements and affirmations that I tell myself every. damn. day. The reality? When I was playing golf, I was practicing 10 hours a day. Traveling 30 weeks out of the year, but, I'm playing golf....for me that hard work was easy. 

People also don't realize that personal development is also a commitment. Waking up every day and committing to breaking habits, to expand your mind, and to look in the mirror and face those qualities that need work....and then to actually CHANGE them. If this is all you manage to accomplish in a day, pat yourself on the back because you're already a step ahead of the rest! It's easy to be self-aware, but to actually make an effort towards shifting your beliefs and making life changes is no easy task. So if you manage to do this, you my ever-evolving friend are a rockstar!

People like to say, oh you live that life cause your parents have money. Sorry, gonna ruin that one for you too. While no, my parents have never left me out in the cold, they also don't give me free meal tickets. I earned my 200K scholarship to college, I saved money, and learned about investing at an early age. So, mommy and daddy don't really fund my lifestyle, but what they have done, is give me the freedom and support to pursue my dreams and aspirations, and what I'm passionate about is helping others unblock themselves from their fears and conditioned beliefs and start living their best lives, while living my best life! There's no reason why we can't all thrive!!

This week, try to notice what belief statements you repeat to yourself. Is life hard? Are you tired? Let's change those and put more focus on being happy. We aren't put on this earth to be miserable and then die. What have you always wanted to do? What is your dream? What little amount can you do each day to help you achieve that? DO IT!!! 

If you haven't read Steven Pressfield's book "War of Art". Go buy that sucka, and read it. It'll take you maybe 2 days to finish, 1 if you're an overachiever. It talks about resistance and how we basically screw things up for ourselves and then how to overcome those negative thoughts and actually make it to the finish line. It's my go-to book when I feel stuck, I just give it a quick re-read. 

My whole life I've always wanted to write a book. 26 years of wanting to write one, but never actually doing it. Until the other week, I just sat down and decided to start writing. I was so caught up that I didn't sleep for three days and wrote the whole damn thing. It feels pretty damn good to get shit done, let me tell you! It was so easy that I decided to write a second one and will be so excited to publish and start rolling it out in the fall, along with a few new programs that I think are really going to help people start shifting their beliefs and start helping you find that inner peace and happiness! Tons of exciting stuff on the horizon that I can't wait to share with you guys :)

Until then, you can catch me hanging on the French Riviera or living it up in Paris!

-Au Revoir :*

---

Fundamentals of Success

This week I flew out to Los Angeles to attend Bob Proctor's Paradigm Shift Seminar. Many of you may be familiar with Bob Proctor's work, whether it's through "The Secret" or some of his many other teachings. If you haven't heard the name, I highly recommend you get to know him and his laws for success. 

I've spent the last few days immersed in a group of like-minded people. Incredible, kind humans all in pursuit of the same goal. Success. When we break it down, success can be so relative and honestly much more achievable than we may believe. I spent the last week meeting different people and learning more as to what individual success might look like to some people. For me, the last three days were honestly an experience of a lifetime and I highly recommend it to anyone who is considering on attending a seminar. These are some of my take-aways from the weekend.

Be Conscious of Who You Surround Yourself With

Guys, this is huge. I came into this weekend knowing and already resonating with most of Bob's teachings, but I can honestly say the biggest impact I experienced was from the people I met. Being surrounded with hundreds of people all weekend who are trying to expand, not only in business but spiritually, has a direct impact on instantly raising your vibrations. The amazing thing about being around people like this is not only how helpful they are but they bring out the ability to want to push yourself to be better. Sometimes when we are trying to break of our current realities, or "Paradigms" as Bob puts it, we get pulled back down based on the external influences we allow into our minds. 

Imagine. We are already battling our own fears. The voice inside our head saying, "You can't do that." The majority of the time we are surrounding ourselves with people who project their fear of growth onto us as well, encouraging that voice in our heads that keeps us from growing. 

If you want to be successful, spend time with those who are more successful than you. Find mentors. If you want to change your mindset, spend time around people who share that same mindset you desire to have. Change is a beautiful thing. Evolution is a process of life. Always seek better. 

Be Aware of Where You Focus Your Energy

This is something I have learned over time, that was only further reiterated this weekend. What are you putting your energy towards? Where is your attention? Whatever you spend your time thinking is what you are giving energy to. 

If I spend my time focused on building my career. Daydreaming. Visualizing. Then chances are unknown, I will start taking small inspired actions towards achieving my goal. When we put our energy into achieving something we have no option but to grow our awareness of that thing that has our focus.

On the same token, we can also be unintentionally giving energy towards things we don't want in our lives. For example, If something is bothering you and you are so busy thinking about it, or even talking about it, you are feeding and growing that problem. Energy is so powerful. It's literally what we are made up of, so when we focus however much energy towards one thing, we are essentially giving it life. 

What do you want? Be clear. Be Precise. Paint a Picture in your head and then focus all your energy onto that idea. When you notice distractions, draw your mind back to this image. Sometimes, we get caught up giving our precious energy to things and people that don't deserve it. Save that shit for yourself and watch all the ways you'll start to expand and move forward. 

BE YOURSELF

This is the most important learning EVER! Not just from this weekend, but in life. YOU are unique. You are special. Learn to love yourself. The real you. The perfectly flawed you. 

Interestingly enough, since I've stopped competing I've had this weird thing about telling people I'm a Professional Golfer. Part of me has struggled with the idea that I didn't achieve success or feeling like I gave up. After this weekend I decided, SCREW THAT! Not only did I play professional golf, but I reached a level of skill that took a lot of time, dedication, and personal development. Like I said success is relative, and what I may deem as a personal failure, is success in someone else's eyes. The important thing is that this thing, this part of my life that I have dedicated so much time to, while it isn't "who I am", It is a unique part that makes up who I am. So I've learned that it's time to own it. It's time to stop looking at it as something in which I failed and seeing all the ways I've been successful and broken my own personal barriers in order to achieve what I was able to. 

 It's so important to embrace who we are and learn to own our shit. Don't ever let anyone’s definition of success define yours, and never take advice from someone who has never done what you have/want to do. All we are responsible for is learning to love and accept ourselves. When we are able to do that, it isn't about teaching others to be like us. Instead, through our own journey of self-acceptance, we can encourage others to be the best versions of themselves. 

Overall, It was an amazing week. I'm so grateful to continue this journey of self-development and excited to help others do the same! Stay tuned friends, big things to come this summer. <3

---

Just call me a Love Doctor...

In the past few weeks, I've had so many people coming to me for relationship advice. Whether it's someone psyching themselves out about a blossoming relationship, paranoia that the energy has "shifted", or being asked to sit in on a couples' argument (yeah, that actually happened).

*Fight ensues*                                                                       Me: Well I'll just go to my room now...                                                                      Them: No, we'd like you to stay and help us get through this.                 

 Me: Of course, this won't be uncomfortable for me AT ALL...

I really screwed up by not studying psychology, that way I could have at least charged for all these therapy sessions. Instead, I have gained valuable insight that I've been able to apply to my own life and lessons that help me work through my own problems.

I always laugh when people come to me for advice on love and relationships, especially since my love life is nearly non-existent, and when I hear all these problems it serves as a reminder of why I choose to keep it that way. So in honor of all the people out there who seem to be struggling with finding that balance in emotions when it comes to love, these tips are for you!

COMMUNICATION IS KEY

I can't stress enough how important it is to communicate. No, this doesn't mean yelling and saying nasty things to someone in order to get your point across, or getting jealous and jumping to conclusions. It means being honest and speaking your truth. If you feel a certain way just tell someone. If you want an answer to a question, just ask. Instead of trying to play games and manipulate someone into saying or feeling a certain way, just be HONEST. (It's scary... I know, but practice makes perfect.) I've learned that when I am clear and direct it invites others to do the same and the people who want to be in your life will make the effort to communicate back to you. 

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT...AND STICK TO IT. 

This tip requires you to be honest with yourself. Be honest about the things you want out of a relationship and stop being afraid to ask for what you want. If you want someone who makes an effort and invests time into their relationships then stop settling for people who do the bare minimum in hopes that they will change for you. This isn't Victoria's Secret. There's no semi-annual sale going on here. You either give me the energy I'm worth or take your business to someone else. LADIES! Say that to yourself and for God's sake BELIEVE IT! If you want to be exclusive, yet your pretending you're ok with "keeping things casual" then when they do as they said, it doesn't make them a liar...but it does make you one. If you're upfront from the beginning and they tell you the truth (whatever that may be) you at least have an option of whether or not you want to waste your time and energy. If they tell you you're crazy for speaking your truth or maturely asking a simple question. Spoiler alert* that's a big ole red flag and you should probably get out while you still can!

STOP BEING AFRAID OF ALONE

It's ok to be on your own sometimes. We grow when we're alone. We learn what we like, what we need, and the things we definitely don't need. When we stop fearing that feeling of alone it allows us to stand our ground when it comes to who we allow and don't allow into our life. My motto has always been that I LOVE to be alone, so whoever wants to be in my life has to convince me that my time is better spent with them rather than being alone. Maybe that's an only child thing, idk. When people come to me for advice and they are constantly riding a rollercoaster of emotions, I wonder, is that relationship worth the amount of energy you're putting into it? Yeah, sure, everyone wants that super passionate can't live without you type of love, but make sure it's not one-sided. Ask yourself if it's normal for you to be calling someone else and asking them to solve your problems, vs. communicating it with the person who you're feeling this way about. 

I'm not exempting myself from any of this behavior. Trust me I've been there, done that. But what I have learned is that when you're ok with who you are and honest about what you NEED. It makes it a lot easier to walk away from situations that do not serve you. Instead of stressing out about why he's not texting or calling, learn to enjoy the time you have to yourself. Don't rush into relationships because you're afraid of losing someone or you're afraid to be alone because what people fail to realize is that relationships are work and if you're not ready, you'll look back and miss that time you had to yourself. So keep that in mind, and offer the same space to someone else, cause the last thing you want to do is force someone into a relationship that isn't ready. Which leads me to my last tip...

WHAT'S MEANT TO BE...WILL BE

Whether you choose to believe this statement or not is up to you. I truly believe there is a time and place for everything and you should try to make the most of whatever place you are in. Stop rushing to get somewhere and enjoy where you are in that present moment. Life is short so enjoy all the little moments and trust that in the right time things will be as they should be. SO enjoy those who come into your life and trust when they flow out, because whether it’s a week from now or a few years, the things that are meant to be will always find a way into your life. 

---

Lessons In Heartbreak

I remember one of my very first experiences with heartbreak. I was young, only in my first year of college. I had liked my best friend from high school for the longest time. Even though we went our separate ways for college, we'd talk every day, whether it was over Skype or sending each other letters in the mail. We'd make all these plans and talk about all the things we would do after we graduated, and for a while, I really did think it could all happen that way. I was so happy when we finally divulged our feelings to one another. I had so many expectations when in reality it was the first time I'd truly experience disappointment when it came to relationships. After telling me how he felt, he stopped talking to me for three months. It's not easy to go from talking every day to someone you consider to be your best friend, to having absolutely no communication.  

My entire life at the time was complete chaos, that the thought of dealing with my emotions was a bit much for me to handle. My life changed drastically, mainly due to the fact that I completely numbed myself from feeling anything. Of course, a few months too late, I got my explanation. He made a mistake. He was scared and had now changed his mind. It was what I always wanted to hear, but by the time I did, it was already too late. 

The growth I experienced at this point in my life came from what felt like hitting rock bottom. So many different events in such a short time frame, that literally knocked me on my ass. It was in those moments of feeling completely alone that I learned that the only person that will get you out of a tough spot is you, and the only way to get up from being knocked on your ass, is by picking yourself up. 

When I had gotten the offer to move to New York City, not only was it a life-long dream of mine, but it was an opportunity for a fresh start. My go-to advice for people looking to "find themselves" has always been, move to NYC. You'll never feel more alone while being surrounded by millions of people. It's literally a city that forces you to find your voice because without it you won't be heard. 

By the end of my four years in New York, I was a completely different person than the girl I was at 18. Because I had experienced all this growth, it was hard to relate to the things and people I once cared so much about when I was younger. I always thought living in NYC made me cold and detached, but really I had just shed my old life and entered a new chapter. My biggest heartbreak in the four years was having to say goodbye to the city that changed my life. It was all bittersweet, but I was off to new adventures.  

Fast-Forward to 24, and I finally got what I was looking for a chance to really feel. I thought I had lost that part of myself, but then life gave me another heartbreak. It felt like the theme of my life for a while between golf and my love life. This time it wasn't just the disappointment of failed expectations, but the real deal. It felt like the same chaos I had experienced that first year of college, except this time, ironically, I was the one acting in fear and then holding on to a situation where when I finally made the decision it was already too late. That's the balance of the universe, I guess. 

It took me two years to really come to an understanding of the situation and finally let go. I thought for the longest time I was holding on to that person, but in reality, I just didn't want to let go of that part of myself. I didn't want to move on, because I know so well that when we move on, we grow, and sometimes that means certain people won't follow us, including parts of ourselves. It's so easy to create attachments to people in order to disguise that what's really blocking us from moving on is that fear of change. That fear that if we realize we can be a better version of ourselves, we may leave the life we know behind and not be able to go back. People change and grow, and sometimes they do it without you. I've learned that the ones meant to be in your life always find a way back, even when they have to take time to themselves in order to grow on their own. 

It's taken a while, but I've learned that all the people and experiences I have in life are my greatest teachers. Every heartbreaking experience, whether it was love, let-downs in your career, or hard goodbyes, forces you to grow and learn how to pick yourself back up. Some teach you how to let go, some teach you how to love, and some teach you how to just appreciate and value each moment because once it's gone you'll never get it back.  

---

Spiritual Detox- Day 7

Since September I have witnessed so many rapid shifts throughout my life, learning to find my voice and finding a clearer path to the things I truly want out of life. In August, while I was out in California for Q-school I really started dedicating more time to yoga and filling myself up with things that make me happy. After the disappointment of missing moving forward by 1 shot, I decided to dedicate the off-season to really putting forth the self-work I had postponed for so long. As a continuation from the habits I had formed in August, I continued putting a lot of time into doing more things that brought me peace and clarity. 

Anyone who knows me is aware of my strong interest in the metaphysical. Energy, Astrology, 5D universe. If it's anything Woo-Woo, I'm all over it. So it won't come as a surprise to most that what I attribute most of my life transformations to came from my experiences with Reiki healing. 

My yoga studio offers a once a month Full Moon Reiki Healing Circle, so naturally, I decided to check it out. For those who don't know, Reiki is the practice of "improving the flow of life energy within a person". Working with the different chakras, practitioners are trained to detect and alleviate energetic blockages on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. Every month that I attended the session, it felt as something new had been unlocked in me. Whether it was these strong outbursts of emotions that guided me closer to my truth or finally releasing things I'd been bottling up for a long time. Seriously, like word vomit. I'd just be left thinking, "Oh shit, did I just say that out loud." 

It was in speaking my truth and accepting my emotions that I was able to change my life. My personal experience with Reiki is what led me to obtain my own practitioner certification. For 21 days after the training, you are meant to go through a "spiritual detox" (I'm on day 7). No Caffeine, no alcohol, no recreational drugs, and a limited amount of processed foods, while doing a specific morning meditation for 21 days in order to help you connect to yourself free of outer influences. Here are some of the things I've learned so far: 

Our Minds are Incredibly Powerful

The beliefs we give the energy to have the ability to expand into reality with the power of our minds. You have the ability to heal yourself and others all you have to do is believe it and project it.  

Learning your Triggers

Every day you say a little mantra. Just for today, I will not worry. Just for today, I will not be angry. When you start repeating this, ironically you start to become aware of all the things that make you worry and make you angry. 

Losing Attachments

You can't stop thoughts from happening. But you can learn how to lose the attachments to them. When we let thoughts flow in and out without reaction, we are able to learn more about who we are and work with ourselves in order to grow. 

Everything is Temporary

All these thoughts and feelings, just as they come, they also go. If you're in a moment where you're feeling down. Know that it will pass and chances are it'll make you stronger. 

Losing Toxic Attachments To People

Just like we lose attachments to our thoughts, we must do the same with people. It's important to realize the ways we give energy to other people. Is that energy being reciprocated? Sometimes people choose to act out of their own self-interest and have you around when it serves their needs. With people like this, I take notes and then learn to match that energy instead of giving it freely. I think we set expectations for people thinking they are better than they act when really we have to stop giving them so much credit. CUT. THE. CORD!

BEING UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU

There is a misconception that being spiritual or practicing a certain lifestyle looks a certain way. It might be for some, but it's up to you to find out who you are as an individual. I don't go dancing around talking to animals and saying I'm happy, always. No. Somedays I'm sweet and zen, and somedays I am a Sassy B*tch.  Being "zen" for me is learning to accept all the different parts of myself, regardless of the people who tell me "I shouldn't act a certain way" or "I shouldn't say and do certain things". I stopped caring a long time ago what people think of me, and I much less listen to the opinions of people who can't even accept themselves. So if you have a problem with me, well, I'd say I'm sorry....but I'm not. 

So to wrap it all up, if you have a chance to check out Reiki, DO IT! The last 7 days have been a lot of purging things that no longer serve me and further accepting parts of myself, even my "shadow side". When we embrace ourselves wholly, we begin to discover our own self-truth. When we learn to accept ourselves and be confident in who we are "flaws" and all, it helps the world and others around us to do the same! 

---

Creating Space

Any of my yogis out there know that the entire purpose of a flow is to build up to that one pose. We can't just jump right into these difficult poses we have to prepare and work with our bodies in order to get our bodies to work with us. The time spent flowing through these poses creates a symbiotic relationship between our minds and our body and after time we begin to see the truly incredible things we are capable of when we create the space for it. 

Just as we can create space in our bodies, we can do so in our minds and for those around us. 

START WITH YOU

Before you can create a "Safe Space" for someone else you have to be able to do it for yourself. We can be so generous in providing forgiveness and acceptance when it comes to our loved ones, yet we tend to react to our own misjudgments much more harshly. 

When we learn to work with ourselves from a place of love and nurturing, we begin to create opportunities for growth. By accepting our flaws we create a safer environment within ourselves, to be ourselves.    

WORKING WITH OTHERS

I've learned that when you bring your authentic self to the table, it encourages others to do the same. Just as we ask to be accepted for who we are, we must also provide the same courtesy to other people. 

So often we see people create these ideas and expectations in their heads about how they want someone to be and you begin to realize it has so little to do with who that person really is and more to do with their own personal projections. 

We can't change people, and if we are truly content with ourselves I don't think we should want to. The flaws we see in other people, highlight something that is inside of us. When we work on changing that part of us that evokes that behavior from other people that is when we can start to see the changes in our relationships. 

The concept of unconditional love is that we choose to love someone despite all the things that we might perceive as flaws. When you really want someone to be apart of your life (Friendship, or Romantic) we have to create space for them to feel comfortable and accepted. Society teaches us to love with so many conditions that when we strip away all these barriers it gives us room to grow stronger foundations and create more acceptance in the world. 

CREATING BOUNDARIES 

In my experience, I've learned that when I truly care about someone, instead of trying to change them, I just accept and learn how to communicate with them in a way that they are most responsive to. When discussing topics like these, it is important to make sure you are setting boundaries. Just because I have changed the way I am communicating with a person doesn't not mean I am willing to change myself. You can make all the effort in the world to understand someone, but at the end of the day if you are not getting the respect you deserve in return then that's when it's important to have boundaries set and know when something is no longer serving you.

I've had people in my life who are always asking me to change and doing nothing on their end to fix the situation and I have had people who despite serval spurts of conflict continue to say "never change". I think the majority of your relationships are going to experience conflict, no two people are exactly alike. Instead of viewing it as something that person needs to change about themselves, we have to just accept them for who they are and either lead by example or decide if it's even practical to have this person in your life. 

It's amazing to see that when we learn how to do this for other people, it becomes reflected back to us in the ways that people hold a "safe space" for us. I believe the most beautiful learning taken away from creating space, is not only learning about how to love others without conditions but learning to love yourself in the same way. 

---

Cause and Effect-Healing Relationships

Going a little deeper into last week’s post about removing emotional blockages, I believe it's so crucial we understand the importance of how we choose to react to the people around us and situations we might get put into. Whether you buy into it or not, energy is a very real concept, and based on what we put our focus towards and the emotions we attach to them, we can alter our state of being significantly. What are you giving energy to? Are you feeding into negativity? Or are you responding to situations from a place of love and understanding?

LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE

We have no control of the people around us, no matter how hard we try to control the externals it just can't be done. Once we accept this truth, we begin to realize that what we do control is how we react to what is around us. Instead of wasting our energy trying to change somebody, we can put it to better use by controlling the things we can, which is ourselves. People have "bad days" and more often than not, one person's "bad day" creates a domino effect for the people around them. Who's fault is that? Not theirs, actually, it's yours. When we react to these negative actions taken upon us, or allow ourselves to get upset over comments made by someone who is clearly in a negative state of mind we also feed into the negativity, we are unknowingly giving our energy towards this behavior creating more of the same. Instead of seeing this behavior as a projection of what is occurring internally within that person, we internalize it as our own problems and thus alter our moods to match. Ultimately, we choose what we react and respond to and in situations like these, it's a great time to practice indifference. Either you don't react to the situation and go about your business or you assess and respond from a place of love because chances are these are the people who need it the most. 

You are You, and I am Me  

Whatever your connection to someone is, whether it's a friend or romantic relationship it's so important to create an environment where we allow people to be their true selves. Just as you would like to be accepted for who you are, it's important we give others the same courtesy. 

So many people yearn for unconditional love, yet they set so many conditions in their relationships based on preconceived expectations that have nothing to do with the person they are connecting with. When we create these thoughts and expectations in our heads, not only are we trying to control the situation but we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and in turn pushing these people away from us. In my learning experiences, I've come to the realization that when people are honest with us about who they are and what they want, it is not our job to try and change them. We either accept them for who they are (no conditions) or we move on. Too much energy is wasted trying to control or manipulate a situation and the only people we are hurting is ourselves.

In a world where, unfortunately, there are many dishonest people, it's important to value those who are honest and upfront and realize that sometimes the one who is lying to you is yourself. When you are open and honest with yourself, it allows others to behave the same. By removing conditions and trusting, we allow the right people to flow in and out of our lives free of worry and stress. 

Create Your Own Happiness

I believe the key to having the most positive life is being able to generate your own love and happiness. So often we see people relying on others to give them something they feel they can't give themselves. When you make a list of things you want from the people around you, you begin to realize with a little bit of effort you can actually provide yourself with these things. Motivation, Happiness, Love, are a few examples of the pressures we put on other people to give to us, and when they fall short we wind up feeling, disappointed and upset and project those emotions onto our loved ones. 

You have to learn to "Love Yourself First". The saying may be a cliche one, but it's that way for a reason. When we give ourselves the things we desire to get from other people we remove expectations and give people a safe space to love us in their own capacity. When we constantly crave attention and validation from other people, our daily lives become dependent based off of someone else's mood. We lose the ability to control our reactions because the expectations we have set have already determined those reactions for us. 

Way too frequently we hear people talking about not getting the attention they desire from one particular person. Instead of understanding that it might just not be in that person's capacity to give us what we want or that they may be experiencing their own personal issues, we choose to internalize it as something that we have done wrong. Living in this manner creates an extremely fragile foundation that could crumble at any given moment based on someone else's state of mind on a given day. 

Your standard of love may be different than someone else's standard of love. When we accept this we can being to appreciate the ways people do show us they care and quit internalizing problems that are not our own. We live in a society where it seems everyone is set on one-upping another person. "They are ignoring me, so I'll ignore them." Matching means comment with mean comments. By doing this we create more conflict and less solution. Instead of reacting with love, we respond with more negativity. 

Personally, I know it can be challenging, but I have really tried to put to practice controlling my reactions to my externals. When I feel something is not worth my energy, I will ignore the situation. When people chose to act towards me in negativity I no longer perpetuate the situation. Instead of letting it affect or alter my happiness, I see it as a reflection of something they must be going through internally and I try to react with love (Which sometimes may require removing yourself from the situation). 

Depending on the situations that arise it can be difficult not to react or dwell on someone you feel has hurt you in the past. A lot of the books I have read recommend that when there are people who you might feel some type of negativity towards, it is good to practice seeing them in a loving light and wish them happiness, but also realizing what is being reflected back to you by that person. By shifting our perspective and practicing giving love, we break the chain of creating more of the same. We challenge people to ascend to our level instead of descending into negativity. Our society as a whole is in desperate need of healing. All we can do is work towards healing ourselves, and by doing so we set an example for those around us to do the same. 

<3 

---

Clearing Emotional Blockages

We've all heard about the "Law of Attraction". Whether you know it well or have heard about it in passing, it is the concept that the thoughts we think and project are what we attract into our life. Change your thoughts, change your life. If you've really studied the law of attraction or manifestation, you know it runs deeper than just thoughts. It's also the feelings and emotions we attach to the thoughts that really give power to what we are manifesting into our world, which is why it's so important to be cognizant of the emotional blockages we place upon ourselves that could be keeping you from having the things you want to flow into your life. These three steps are great for beginning your journey into taking control and creating the life you want!

1. The World Is Your Mirror

What is your outside world telling you? This could potentially be the most difficult step in releasing blockages because it forces you to take a long hard look at yourself and realize that everything that is happening to you, good or bad is because of...well, YOU. 

You'll find a lot of people complain about repeat scenarios occurring in their life, followed by the question of "Why does this always happen to me?". Instead of facing the fact that they just so happen to be the common denominator, people will find more excuses to blame the external world around them. 

It's OK. We have all been there, but sometimes in order to grow out of these not-so-fun patterns, we have to face the cold hard truth that we are the ones creating them. If you continuously attract toxic people and relationships into your life, chances are you're probably also toxic. It's so important to recognize these things and then being accepting and forgiving with yourself. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. When we put into ourselves that which we want to see around us, we are able to energetically align with those things making it easier to attract. This requires being honest with yourself about who you are and how you might be holding yourself back. Personally, when I confronted these situations and started changing my habits it was beautiful to see the shift of watching the toxic people and situations fall out of my life. The more love I put into myself the more my outer world has changed by putting more people in my life who reflect that love and consistency back to me. It's truly amazing and makes confronting those hard truths, worth it. 

2. NUTURE THE EGO

Most people promote "Kill the ego" or "Lose the ego". The reality is that our ego isn't going anywhere. It's programmed to protect us. It's like the scared little kid inside of us that doesn't want to grow up and wants everything to stay the same. When we fight so hard to "get rid of it" we are wasting precious energy that we could be using for other things. It's learning how to work with the ego, knowing how to talk to that little kid, and again, being understanding and compassionate with them. 

This step factors into the 1st step in the sense that we must learn not to take things personally. The ego makes EVERYTHING personal. It is always on guard ready to defend and everyone is attacking. When you realize that majority of people struggle with their own personal issues, you can begin to accept that not everything is about you. It is so easy to allow people to alter our moods based on their actions towards us. It's in realizing that these actions have very little to do with us and way more to do with the person’s own problems, that we begin to find acceptance and peace within ourselves. When we react to these actions on a personal level, then it is reflecting to us something we need to work on in ourselves. Make sense? 

When that little kid inside of us feels hurt and insulted sometimes he wants to lash out on them instead of observing and understanding what place that person is coming from. These are moments when it is important to talk and nurture the ego. Act with love vs. fear. We can't change people, all we can do is set an example by treating them how we want them to treat us. Have you ever noticed that if you are angry with someone, you'll fight with them over and over again in your head? Guess what... they are not there. So all those nasty things that imaginary version of them is saying to you, is actually you saying it to you. So, really you are creating unnecessary feelings of resentment towards this person when the real person you clearly have a problem with is yourself.  Mind blown, I know.    

When we start learning to remove ego from the equation we can begin to live our truth and free ourselves of other people's hurled judgments and projections of fear. When you ascend to this level, either people will energetically match you, or they will be forced to vibrate out of your frequency. Spoiler Alert: The ones that don't stick around aren't meant to be there. Do YOU booboo! 

3. Control the Narrative

In today’s society, everyone is so concerned with labels and not wanting to be put into a box, when they fail to realize they are actually putting themselves into a box. What adjectives are you using to describe yourself on a daily basis? What beliefs are you reiterating to yourself? We are constantly programming ourselves with self-limiting beliefs. When you begin to understand the immense power of the mind sometimes all it takes is changing how you talk and describe yourself and you'll see how everything shifts around you.  Often times our emotional blockages come from the simple vocabulary we use every day. 

"I want to make money, but I'm lazy"

"It's hard for me to focus, I'm easily distracted"

"I want a relationship, but it's hard for me to open up"

"I'm fat"

"I'm crazy"

The list goes on.

Whether we mean to or not, by continuously telling ourselves these beliefs we energetically project it and in turn attract more of the same. 

I challenge you to take a day where you write down all these statements that you catch yourself saying and then at the end of the day write down a list of words and affirmations that you would like to see more of in your life. If you want more love to come to you, then give yourself more loving affirmations. If you want more success in your career then start to describe yourself with adjectives that project success. By changing our basic vernacular we can train our brains to believe the things we want. By saying "I am" we create the emotion that what we want, we already have. Perception is Reality. 

We have complete control of our surroundings, it's just a matter of being present and putting forth the effort to really release some of these hindrances and start putting out more of what we'd like to get back. Learning that shifting the world around us doesn't require us to force other people to change, but rather changing how we interact with ourselves and then in turn how we interact with others.   

---